DOWN MEMORY LANE

Jason & I 15 years ago, 6 months after we met, how we change.

My wonderful family, mum, dad, brothers & sisters on our wedding day.

Who would have thought Jordan would come along so soon after.

Jordan in hospital recovering from Meningitis

Nicolas born 16 months later after Jordan, here aged 4 months.

Jordan & Nicolas aged 3.5 & 2 years of age.

Learning to drive a golf cart early.

Nicolas & Chloe aged 2 and chloe 2 months of age.

Chloe aged 2 months, cute as a button.

Chloe aged 3 months.

Chloe aged 2, opening presents on her birthday.

Chloe aged 3.

Family photo at the Zoo.

Jordan on his walk to nowhere, likes to be in a world of his own.

One of my beautiful sisters Sarah & Jordan aged 4.5 years old.

Time has flown, passed has the years,

In that time, so many tears,

Tears of sadness, tears of joy,

Watching our children, play with their toys.

God gave to me some hurdles in life,

To test and see me as a mother & wife,

I thank him for these challenges, it has taught me to be strong,

And because of him, we have made it along.

Thankyou Lord, for keeping our children safe & sound,

Without you, the love we share, would never been found.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE

Another year has past since our precious daughter was only 4 years old when this photo was taken.
This was taken when we first moved to Tea Gardens and she had started at Daycare.
On the 8th April chloe was born 5 years ago with a rare genetic disorder called Incontentia Pigmentii. After initial scares and berwilderment, wondering if it had affected her mentally and physically, our prayers were answered.

We are happy to say today, she is a healthy, active, happy young lady with only a few external scars on her torso, problems with only 20% vision in her left eye (we are still waiting for her new glasses to arrive after her lenses broke)and her teeth are coned shaped (like sharks teeth) which can be fixed with dental cosmetic surgery later in life, in which she is on a waiting list to have done when she is older.

Though at times Chloe shows symptoms of Aspergers, we believe she is making great progress at school. I reckon we have a little budding artist on our hands as she seems to have the ability to draw and colour in with great imagination and skill.

Who would have thought the first 2 years, after feeling anguish and worry that our little girl could have Neurological problems, that she has infact beat those odds, after Jordans diagnosis it was just too much.

I remember Chloe just a newborn baby, after seeing a specialist, slamming the car door over and over to see if she would jump with the noise like most babies do. She didnt blink an eye. My world just crumbled once again.
What did i do once again, played over and over in my head.

I now know there was nothing that could of prevented this mutant gene from forming into a rare chromosone disorder that we still know little about called Incontentia Pigmentii.

Chloe never goes a day without telling me how much she loves me, and even though i tell Nicolas, Jordan and Chloe everyday how much i love them, i am sending an extra special message for Chloe, our only daughter, Happy Birthday Princess and look forward to making your day a special one. We love you very very much.

Luv Mummy, daddy, Jordan and Nicolas. xxx

WHAT A WEEKEND

Wow, what a weekend just gone. We had Nicolas's birthday party down at the local pub and we had a great turn out. We had a lot of friends who made the 2.5 hour trip and stay over the weekend. The children had a pool party at the pub, as Jason's boss let us use the pool.
Saved a lot of time and effort as we had it catered for, so at 8.30 pm we came home and threw on a BBQ.

It was fantastic to catch up on some friends we hadnt seen close to five years and Matt who happens to be Jason best mate could make the trip with his wife. I ended up with 9 children over for the night with Tina, craig, their 2 kids and Louisa, one of my best friends. Gawwd by Sunday afternoon i was so tired and exhausted i let the kids have Monday off because they wernt feeling the best and i was feeling a little off myself.

We practically slept all Monday, i must have needed it because i normally wont sleep past 6-7am. Jordan was fantastic considering the amount of people who came, loved his swimming, though as night fell i was having anxiety attacks, having to keep an eye on 6 kids who were staying with us, running around like crazy, and Jordan doing his huidini tricks once again.

Poor Daddy had to drive back to Sydney with 3 of the childrens cousins who stayed, as he has work down there, so i wont be seeing him now for another 2 weeks, as he is working the whole weekend this week and maybe next. I miss him and so do the kids and cant wait to this work is over, though the money is great and managing to pay a lot more bills.

Jordan has used the toilet again at school, so his teacher is making a major breakthru for him and us, i hope soon he will take himself, though i think that will be a while yet.
Anyway, i have finally bought a new printer and can finally put more pictures on my blog, Hip hip horray! Take care all and i will update again real soon.

Arevoir
Kiralea

HOORAY FOR JORDAN

Well i can start my blog off with some great news.

Not only are we so proud of Jordan's accomplishments but he has stepped over another milestone.

On Monday Jordan did his first pooh on the toilet at School.

His teacher Mrs Evans was beside herself with elation and shed tears after she told me what he had done. I must say Vicky (his teacher) has proven to have a ferocious appetite when it comes to schooling Jordan, and i mean that nicely, as she has proven to be a wonderful friend and teacher for Jordan.

Mrs Evans is very firm but kind with Jordan and her dedication to his needs has been an asset, not only to us but for the School. After he did this she raced him up to the principals office and later he came home with stickers all over his shirt. We are so proud of him and I could not help ringing everyone that afternoon to tell everyone about his toileting skills, which has been limited to home.

I have to laugh because that afternoon Jordan came home and was so happy and excited with his achievement, i promised him McDonalds this weekend.

I want to say happy birthday to our other special boy in our life. Nicolas turned 7 the other day, and is doing extremely well with his reading and writing. The change in progress over a short period of time since we have been here has been amazing. He has moved quicker ahead up here than he did from day one in his sydney school.

Chloe started school the other day and looked so cute in her uniform and is doing very well and enjoying school, though Nicolas told me on her 3rd day she was running in and out of the boys toilets, which she recieved an earful about how unlady like this is. I think we are going to have a handful on our hands as she gets older, with her strong personality, though at school she is so quiet.

Daddy is in Sydney again, and the kids miss him but he will be home for a night over each weekend over the next 4-5 weeks.

Well i am feeling fine, except my ankle is still playing up so i had to see a specialist, and probaly will need surgery, it just does not want to heal. Anyway thats all for now.

Arevoir

Kiralea

I HAVE HAD SUCH A GREAT DAY (WHY NOT)

Well let me say, i know i updated my blog page earlier but wanted to type some more. I dont always find the time to type away but tonite now, i can.

We had a great day! Went down to the beach with the children and i actually went swimming. Oh my gosh, i cant believe it myself. Well after putting on the 30 plus an hour later i did still get a little burnt.

Dolphins were swimming near us and I suddenly felt safe because i know sharks will not usually swim near a pod of dolphins.

Well, where we went swimming it is a 10 minute walk through the bush, my friend Kirrily and i walk this every morning before we pound the sand which is a dirt track before hitting this paradise, and hubby was winging all the way (he hadn't been to this place yet) "gawwwd when we finally get to the the water and swim, we will be hot again by the time we get back to the car and will need another swim"!

Anyway it was worth it and when we got to the water there was so many boats anchored out i swear James Packer's boat was also out there. (that is Kerry packers son (Australian Billionaire) if you all dont know what i am talking about)

Jordan a few times tried to do the hudini on us as usual, but decided after we found a quiet spot, cover himself with sand, dig little holes and come in and wash himself off and stay where we made ourselves comfortable. We enjoyed a lovely family day out from 12.30pm (after lunch) until 3pm and i must admit, being the joker i can be, never saw my family run out of water as quickly as they ever have after telling them "SHARK QUICK GET OUT" .

I know it is crying wolf, which i dont do a lot (justifying) as a way of seeing how quick people can move. I said to hubby later pretend it was a drill and next time i expect you all to get of the water 30 seconds quicker!

Arevior

Kiralea

WHAT A LIFE WE LEAD

Well I couldn't resist putting this photo on my blog page. Rosemary knight who i went to school with sent me the this photo of her daughter Holly the other day. Isnt she soooo cute!

Well the weather has been kind to us, and there is no way i will spend another summer in Sydney. It is such mild weather compared to Sydney, it does get hot but it is a comfortable heat.

My friend Kirrily and i go every morning for a hours walk along the beach at 7am. I am determined to loose more weight before her wedding in September this year. My ankle is still giving me grief but decided to put up with the pain and pound the sand. It is such a lovely walk and we see the Dolphins every morning feeding close to the shore with their babies.

Nicolas comes with us sometimes and we collect shells along the way, found a few unusual ones and we are going to make necklaces out of them. The water has been a nice 22 degrees most days. I need to get a new printer so i can start scanning more pictures and uploading them onto my blog.

Jordan is doing really well with his speech and toileting, we have finally got it right, though he insists i take him. Dad doesnt mind one iota. He doesnt have to wipe his behind! My mum and dad are meant to be having the kids this Saturday for a week, though her back is playing up again and in a lot of pain, so i might have to put it off as its going to be too much for her i feel.

Jordan has started screaming a lot lately and driving us batty with the noise. He seems so agro, i dont know if it is because he is getting older and more frustrated with things that normally would never trigger these outbursts. Its hard as hubby has been doing a lot of night shifts and i cant keep him quiet.

Chloe has calmed down so much these holidays, i cant believe it is the same little girl. She has become such a little lady, and i cant believe she is starting school this year. She is so excited.

Its been pleasant without hearing tantrums, its hard enough with Jordan yelling his lungs out. I try to get out with them, but it is hard with Jordan at times who yells and trys to take off on us, almost getting hit by cars in the process. It puts me off going anywhere with him at times, but i have too, he does need more interaction with society. I have been taking him to the shops and getting him to pay the the staff and asking him to count out the change to me. we are getting there with him.

The house is a mess constantly and whenever i clean for hours it is like it again in 10 minutes. I keep finding little presents in our cupboards from Chloe who likes to play with flour and water in cups and other things, it is only when i smell something unpleasant and go searching i find these little deposits. Ahhhh the joys of children and being a parent.

Jordan has taken on a some new phases, drinking from his cup and spitting it out everywhere, then laughs at this new found game. Gawd i am on my hands and knees more than i am standing! If its not the water, its smashed eggs on the bench, empty yogurt containers with yogurt on the floor and the washing machine at my friend Kirrily's house spilling out water everywhere, because its playing up and he loves turning it on, believe me, we even have tried unplugging it and somehow he finds a way to switch it back on, so my time there seems to be mopping up water everywhere.

Life is never boring here in this mad house, and instead of getting mad at him i am going MAD!

Arevoir

Kiralea

HOW ARE THINGS?

School Holidays have kicked in and 1 week later, just loving it, not!

Nicolas and Chloe fight incessantly. Hubby is working late shifts and i am over it.

I am trying to keep the kids quiet all day while he sleeps and all i hear is SHHHHUUUTTUP!

I take them in the car for a drive and all they do is fight and hear Nicolas is pinching me, Chloe is pinching me! gawwwwwwd!

I take them to the beach and all I do is yell at Nicolas and Chloe to not go in far as they cant swim properly. Jordan Just takes off down the beach and while trying to keep an eye on two kids swimming i am chasing Jordan down the beach.

I cant understand why i am not 15 kilos lighter.

Anyway my good news is my best best friend Kirrily got engaged on XMAS day to Ray her boyfriend of 1 year and her ring is divine.

He proposed to her in front of everyone and i am her matron of honour. They will get married within the year on the beach so i have a lot of organising to do to help make her day perfect.

Oh boy we have been discussing everything and Chloe is going to be her flowergirl as well. We have a busy year ahead of us.

I think i am more excited then they are!

All is well and the kids will go to mum & dads in a week for a week so Jay and i can spend more time together. Nicolas and Chloe just came back from Jasons parents for 2 days and had a great time with their Grandmere and Grandpere. I have had one of my great friends Kylie come up for 4 days and just left yesterday so everything is quietning down now.

Hope all had a Merry XMAS and also a prospherous New Year, take care and travel safetly. By the way i recieved a message from Alex Clarke please email me i remember you, i sent a reply to your message wowwww keep in touch, hopefully we can have a chat on MSN or Yahoo.

Areviour

kiralea

OH MY GOODNESS, I THINK I MIGHT WITHER INTO A CORNER AND STAY THERE

Hi all, gosh where do i start?

Jordan has been unbearable. Constant screaming, yelling, bashing doors against walls. I have to lock my balcony door so he doesnt go out there and yell his tits off , with people looking up at him from the gas station in his undies playing with himself because he refuses to do a pooh!

Jordan constantly yells out "HELP ME" giving people the impression we are abusing him somewhat. He used to do this lot earlier on and now has started this behaviour up again. My hubby and i are at our wits end. His screaming starts from the time he awakens with his ERRRRR noises, until he goes to bed with a fight, sometimes 11.30 at night.

I have decided to get him on a diet from next week, cutting out Casein (dairy), Wheat and Gluten along with Yeast and sugers. Not only Jordan will benefit from this but we are all doing it. Chloe has become Jeckyl and Hyde and Nicolas is ok until something pisses him off and then he is off on a tangem.

I have a referral to Maitland Hospital Paedtric Clinic to look into meds down the track if the diet doesnt work. I believe it will help because we have done it before.

Jordans behaviour has become like a caged animal. Unpredictable and has taken on a new role pulling his sisters hair. I have to turn the computer off because he screams while using it and when i turn it off he screams because i turned it off.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!

Chloe is so quite at school, yet when she comes home she is unbearable, grunting and yelling at who ever is in her way.

My life is in turmoil at the moment and started my prozac again before i go mental and loose it.

I am going to organise a hair analysis for all of them and go from there.

The other day i fell down the stairs and cracked my ankle. I was standing at the top and misjudged and fell backwards. The pain is unbearable and poor hubby has taken on a lot, plus having to get to work. My ankle is feeling is a little better today, but i feel like i have been run over by a bus.

Well thats enough feeling sorry for myself. If anyone has any ideas or recipes regarding gluten free diets i would like to hear from you. Its been so long since i last did it and will be researching until my fingers are arthritic and cant type anymore.

Take care all

Arevoir

WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING

Hi all and i can finally say how happy i am to have a new computer and able to blog my life away again.

Jason has finally arrived for good up in Tea Gardens and it feels great to have some respite and help once again.

Jordan is doing well at school and the teachers just love his little quirks.

I have started working at the school canteen to help out and he knows where to escape when i am on the canteen and say "mummy green slush puppy please" god love him.

We have come to the realisation that Nicolas is indeed Aspergers but only mild high functioning and extremely bright, after feeling he may have been incorrectly diagnosed. His teacher came to me the other day and asked me if loud unexpected noises affected him and when i think about it happens a lot.

I told his teacher that in he was diagnosed with Aspergers in Sydney and she is the 3rd teacher to comment on his behaviour so they are going to organise some funding to help him along. I am surprised it hasnt depressed me what so ever because i have accepted this is meant to be and no matter what he is a bright happy child most of the time and has many friends at school, especially older children.

Chloe is also showing symptoms of Aspergers which has despaired us a little, having 3 children now with most probaly special needs.

Her behaviour is extreme, temper tantrums to say the least, then she is the most beautiful little girl with a heart of gold, we call her Jekyl and Hyde

(to ourselves that is)

She doesnt like to give people eye contact and will only do so with who she is familiar with, but then again this could be just shyness, yet at school and kindy she is so quiet and well behaved.

My dad feels he was always different and i do believe my dad may be Aspergers as well with his extreme moods and repetative behaviours and anti social behaviour at times.

Aspergers we think is also in Jasons family so when you think about the gene thing our kids obviously inherited it from both of us. But all in all we are blessed with loving healthy children and nothing in this world can change the fact that they all may have different needs so we cant wallow in self pity, we will just move ahead and do what is best by our beloved children.

I am feeling great and much happier and weening myself off the Prozac, so far so good, we will see. I am loosing weight so far 12 kilos which is great, Jason can actually see shape in my backside now, how it used to be (he he) living near the ocean and walking the kids to school has been good for me, also the fact working in the school canteen up to 3 days a week (just started) keeps me busy and active.

I am missing my family a lot but enjoying what life has to offer up here and never felt better. My best friend Kirrily is just so awesome considering she has had many hurdles to overcome with her health etc. We had a great night before Jason arrived together dancing with the kids and pumping up the music.

The service station across the road must be getting some free entertainment with Jordan spinning non stop and they have actually asked me how he does it for so long then walk away with feeling dizzy. Jordan has taken on new phase, throwing things off our balcony (argggg) and strips off down to his undies constantly and does cartwheels across the balcony so i guess you could agree he is very much entertaining, let alone my friend and I when we get down and funky with the kids.

Well that is about all i have to talk about for now and Vanessa (friend from school) i know you read this blog everyday checking for updates can you email me please to my new address kiralee.powell@bigpond.com i have lost all my email addresses waaaaaa.

Take care all.

Arevoir.

THINGS ARE GOING GREAT

Hi all i am in Sydney for a while with school holidays. We have found a lovely place to live after living out of holiday rentals for over a month. I am organising to bring our furniture out of storage and finally be able to say we are home.

Jordan is going 2 hours a day now instead of the one hour Tea Gardens school could offer. His language skills are awesome now and we can actually hold a short conversation with him and he is going through a inquisitive stage asking all sorts of questions, and building a conversation from there.

His toileting is going well and hopefully funding will come through soon so he can start going to mainstream full time.

He loves school and when he asks me when are we going i tell him soon and his reply is always "good idea" he makes us laugh.

Nicolas has progressed also beyond a doubt and after worrying he may be dyslexic he has shown otherwise since starting his new school.

It is such a lovely environment to raise children because it is a small country community and everyone seems to look out for oneanother.

I have been embraced into this community and its so nice to feel welcome and that everyone i have met have bent over backwards to help Jordan and myself into this new transistion in life.

Chloe loves her pre-school and starts big school next year with her brothers and cannot wait and is doing very well especially in the art area. Her drawings and colouring is so good i think we have a little artist on our hands.

Her kindy comment all the time how good she is compared to other children her age.

I at times feel lonely and we all miss jason when he cant get up to visit, but it has made our relationship stronger and given him a sense of respect and understanding how hard it can be to be on your own most of the time and raise 3 children alone, especially an Autistic child like Jordan.

We are putting a lot of our troubles behind us and trying to build a better relationship between us which is fantastic, maybe this is why the kids are doing so well without all the stress that surrounded our daily lives before.

My friend Kirrily has been a fantastic help with the children also when i need it and i can say i have a true friend that loves us all unconditionally as well.

My family miss us and we miss them but i have made a new start for all of us and am so happy where we are and there is no looking back.

I still havent the internet on as yet as i am looking to moving in a fortnight so after this i will be able to chat with all my special friends i have made within the blogosphere world. take care all and speak to you all soon.

Arevoir

Kiralea

WHERE I HAVE BEEN THE LAST MONTH

Well its been a while again and thought i would update you all what has been happening. I have moved to Hawks Nest with the children and Jason will be following at the end of the year when his contract for Transfield runs out..

We at the moment are living with my friend Kirrily and looking to find a house to rent. I enrolled the children at Tea Gardens Public School and Jordan is now attending Main stream IO support class.

I must say i put Jordan back on the zinc and his language and whole being has been amazing.

He will now ask me questions and actually have a short conversation with me.

His new teacher Mr Yo is lovely and been a special ed teacher for over 20 years, though retired in that field 10 years ago and now has taken up helping Jordans transition into his new school.

We are at the moment sending Jordan 1hr a day to help him adjust in his new environment which is very different to his old school Halinda.

We are waiting for the paperwork to go through so they can get the required funding for a teachers aid to sit with him in class.

I have been very nervous as the school hasnt got the same safety precautions he had before. The students have been introduced to Jordan and seem to be very understanding of his Autism and quirky behaviour he brings into the school.

There are quite a number Aspergers children within the school and I think Jordan is going to be a big challenge and very interesting to see how it all works out. I would like to thank Halinda for all the efforts they had made for Jordan especially Joan and Mrs Cooksley as this move was very sudden and he was taken out immediately.

Living with my parents didnt work out as my father who works hard couldnt handle Jordans behaviour and noises, especially after working all day and coming home tired. My father is not well also and Jordan seemed to be stressed and i was stressed trying to keep him quite.

Jason and I had planned to go South but decided North would be the way to go and it is such a beautiful community who have made the kids and I very welcome and Mrs Esten Nicolas's & Jordans Principal is absolutely lovely,caring and has bent over baclwards for Jordan to attend the public school as this is all very new to them with Jordans type of Autism.

Jordan just thinks she is wonderful as he is always asking to go to the principal, and when she talks in assembly he doesn't make a sound.

We couldnt find Jordans teacher Mr Yo the other day and we found him Jordan said "good morning Mr Yo, where have you been" I am so proud of his change in behaviour and language.

Oh by the way hip hip hoorah for Jordan, He now poohs by himself on the toilet and wipes himself without much help, then runs to me and says " mummy did pooh on the toilet, Good boy" I tell you it wasn't easy at first but my stubborness paid off without giving into him to put a nappy on. He did have me worried a while as he would hold onto for

3 days or more.

I believe he will benefit being in a main stream school because he has the ability, i believe, to keep going forward.

We are heading off on Tuesday to visit his old school to say goodbye properly as we are here in sydney until Thursday morning.

Kirrily my best friend has been a wonderful support and its been the best change for us all. I feel better about myself, achieving more independance than i ever have had. We walk every day along the waterfront to take the kids to school and they love it.

I managed to enrol Chloe in preschool 2 days a week and she is having a fantastic time. They have chickens at the preschool and everyday collect some eggs and make pancakes for the kids for morning tea.

Nicolas loves his new school as well and doing much better than before as being such a small community they have more one on one attention for their schooling needs.

The kids have told us they do not want to come back to Sydney. It is about a 2.15 hrs drive and we can walk practically walk everywhere to get what we need. I have hired a holiday rental for a month to give my friend and boyfriend some peace and quite. It is great to live somewhere cheap near the ocean, lakes and enjoy the fresh air compared to the sydney smog and busy lifestyle oh and no bloody traffic lights!

Our 2 dogs are enjoying their freedom on the beach and room to play as border collies are so active and do not stop.

I miss hubby a lot but he is earning good cash to end of year and will be up as soon as his job finishes and has been told he can get work up there at the country club. I have been offered some work in a real estate around the corner as it gets a little warmer and busier period working on reception which i am excited about to earn some dollars as well.

All is happy and well, and i have never felt this elated in my life as i have been the past month. I really miss my family down here but all in all i think this is going to be a much more pleasant lifestyle for all of us.

I have not been able to update my blog for a while as i dont have the internet at the moment so i am taking every opportunity to update while i can at the moment. All my lovely friends who read this regulary take care and really miss chatting especially to Lora and Tina. Lots of hugs to you all and hope to see you in in the blogosphere soon.

Arevoir Jordan, Nicolas, Chloe, Jason and Kiralea

WE ARE BACK FROM HOLIDAYS

Well we all went up to the coast for 6 days to stay with my beloved best friend Kirrily and had the most wonderful time. We took one of our dogs Tiger and the kids loved it, going to the beach playing ball with Tiger and Kirrily's dog Shandy.

Jordan decided that Winter will not weary him, and decided to go swimming every time we went to the beach. We were exhausted between watching dogs chase people jogging up the beach and saving children from drowning. Jordan has no fear, as most Autistic children have, so poor daddy a few times had to jump into the waves to stop him going further out into the depth of the waters.

Surprisingly that we are now in the middle of winter the water was not too bad. There was a few people swimming. Brrrrr it was still cold enough for me.

Jordans other front tooth fell out and this time there was no tears, just calmly walked up to me and said "look oh no" and gave me his little tooth to meand ran off to find other mischief to get into.

My friend Kirrily had tears in her eyes when we were leaving and when i asked her whats wrong, she told me she always feels lost when we go home as she loves us all so much. Well dito to that because i miss her a lot too when we leave. We always have so much fun together and with the kids.

Jordan today took himself to the toilet to do his pooh after i told him to go, he went and sat on his own and did it without resistance, then asked me to "please wipe his bottom". I feel the hardest part of teaching him is almost over and after asking him to try and wipe his own behind and getting it on his little fingers, i decided momentarily we should do this ourselves for a while!

Our little baby is finally growing up, even though he is eight, he is still to us the 3 year old he once was. Jordans speech has dramatically picked up over the last 2 weeks and feel so much more confident he will just keep getting better and better. He asks for things so clearly now and always says please and thankyou (sometimes with reminding). Jordan the other day picked up a bible and red it aloud to me, i was so proud he even red some of the big words without much help.

School starts back on Tuesday, so my mother is looking forward to this as it can be very noisy living here. I have been trying to download a couple of pictures but its either too slow or a problem with bloggers.com.

Chloe and Nicolas are doing fine and i have incorporated into there diets not more bloody sugar it sends them barny and ourselves so to speak.

Ahhh finally it has let me load the pictures, it is an old one of Nicolas and Jordan on a hot summers day Nicolas is the most cutest little boy.

The other one is finally of Mocha, Jordans little Kitty Kat as he always calls him. He is so patient and understanding of the children especially of Jordan. Anyway thats enough for the night and i will be back soon. Arevoir all and take care.

WHATS BEEN GOING ON SINCE I LAST POSTED

Well its been a while since updating my blog and its been for a good reason.
Jason, myself and kiddies have moved back about a month ago to my mum & dads to save money and because the opportunity arose.

We are looking to move at the end of the year into a new place near the beach, down south at Shoalhaven heads, near Nowra.
We have done our research for Jordan and found there is a special school for him in Nowra nearby so it has made things a lot easier, as there is limited resources in NSW for children with special needs and moving away from Sydney can prove to be a hiccup for children like Jordan.

Its about 2 hours from mum & dads, but a lovely country area and cheaper living costs. I am hoping to get another horse again and get the children into riding eventually.

I am studying at the moment Medical Administration and in September i will studying to become a Pathology Collector, taking blood. I love anything Medical and have just applied for a position at a hospital part-time in the sleep disorder unit for children to get experience and achieve my goals.
Now the children are older, i feel i can cope with full time study again.

Jordan has come a long way since i last posted. He has started using the toilet to do his poohs with our help of course, and hope sometime soon he will take himself.
I decided to stop giving into nappies a month ago and after Jordan holding on for 4 days (dont know how he did it) he finally let go in the toilet much to our excitment.
Now that he is almost 8 i felt it was time to make him use the toilet with many promises of treats if he would do it. Now he just does it without treats promised to him and doesnt hold on as long now when seated on the toilet.

His language has picked up, and he is now asking "breakfast please mummy" and asking me to wipe his bottom. I am so proud and happy he has come this extra milestone. Nicolas and Chloe are going great, we just came back from Shoalhaven heads after spending a week down there at the Shack which is run by the Apex club for children with disabilities and illnesses.

We are about to enbark on another adventure with the kids on Friday and visit my best friend Kirrily for a week at Hawks Nest at the Central Coast. It gives us and my parents the sanity needed as the kids can be noisy and my dad has the patience of a Tasmanian Devil. Ha ha. My mum nags me constantly and i have realised even being 35 our mothers never stop being mothers and telling me how to be a mother!

Otherwise all is well and everyone is getting on fine. School holidays are here and its bedlem as usual, because my mother and father are starting to breed exotic cats and Himalayans and one of her cats are on heat crying to get outside to get her rocks off and mum is constantly worried with the kids in and outside letting her out.
We are all on eggshells at the moment. Ahhhhhhh well, thats life at the moment and am waiting to win the big one so i can visit lora & Griffin in Alaska all the while trying to save our butts off and pay off our debts. I will keep you all up to date soon with some pictures, now my computer is up and running again so i can use the internet.

I am sorry to anyone if i have not responded to your questions regarding IP etc, i did not recieve them through my email and its only now going through my blog i have noticed a few peoples comments and questions. A few asked to stay in touch so please email me at kp_powell1234@hotmail.com so we can share more info with one another. Thanks again for all your responses and once again my apologies for not answering a couple of questions earlier.

HOW THE YEARS HAVE GONE BY

I was going through some pictures today and remembered how much our kids have grown up. I wanted to share some pictures with you all that have a story behind them.

The picture above was taken one week before Jordan's diagnosis aged 2.

This was evident when my in-laws came over for dinner. I knew something definately was not right about his overall behaviour, having a group of people over seem to distress him.

Here he is sitting on the kitchen bench next to the lolly jar, we were trying to cheer him up.

The following picture is of Jordan aged 3.5 after getting into the talcum powder and making a mess you would not believe, and the other is when he was 16 months old, full of smiles always.

The next photo is of Nicolas when he was our 7 month old little boomba eating dinner and making a mess as kids do..... and the other was of Chloe after she was born. Note: you can probaly just see on her arms some of the sores she was born with (Incontentia Pigmenti). She was not happy this day after having a bath. I remember having to peel her jumpsuits off her skin because her sores were so pussie and blistery.

This next photo below was of Jordan in hospital after been blessed with Meningitis (not) he was extremely sick and this photo was taken 6 days after he started to show signs of being able to sit up again and eat. Thank goodness he has not been sick like this since. It is so hard when your child is autistic and they are sick and they cant communicate with you whats wrong, so when i say a mother needs to be a Dr, nurse, physcologist, pyhsiotherapist, counsellor and speech therapist i am not wrong! Anyway talking of unwell, Jordan has been sick on/off for the last week and again vomited today. I am a bit worried as he seems really lethargic and sleepy. I will keep an eye on him, as there is some awful viruses going around now, after vomiting in my car this morning and again when he got home, i am hoping his electrolyte ice blocks will be frozen by the time he wakes up.

Until next time

Arevoir

Kiralea

CHLOES NEW GLASSES

Well the latest news i have not told to people was I had to order Chloe another $300 dollar pair of glasses. This is because daddy jason decided to put them on the roof of his car while strapping the children in their belts, forgot about them and drove off.

Boy i felt numb, because money is tight and this is the second pair within 3 months.

Chloe is due to go back to her eye specialist soon so hopefully things have improved somewhat though her eye is still looking inward.

I met recently a lady called Janelle who lives in kalgoorlie WA (australia) who was born with the same chromosone disorder as Chloe. Janelle is 27 years of age and is going through a lot at the moment with teeth being capped, and suffering constant infections in her gums. I hope she starts to feel better. Janelle has been enduring this since she was 13 years old.

Nicolas is doing well also, i am starting to wonder if he was misdiagnosed with Aspergers, OCD etc as he is excelling and made some wonderful friends.

His reading and writing is excellent and he loves to spend his time practising.

He may have a few problems still with behavioural issues, but all in all he has excelled brilliantly. He constantly tells me how much he loves me with kisses and hugs and lately become a real mommy's boy.

Chloe has surprised us at age 4 as she now can write her name and count to 12.

Nicolas & Chloe show a great gift in art and drawing together so this is also a wonderful progress. We are so proud of our kids and the achievements they have made over time. They love to play together a lot of the time, have their moments but all in all our children are loving,caring individuals whom we are so proud of.

Our children constantly tell us they love us, whether it is at home, or in the shopping centre, i have instilled in our kids with "I love you", even when daddy is on the phone we will always end our conversation love you and ditto.

Jordan is coming along well, though lately he wont eat dinner or even breakfast is a challenge because normally he is a huge brekky eater. His fave foods for dinner, in the past has been pushed aside and will go to sleep often lately without dinner.

He seems well, so i dont know if he is going through a growth spurt again and feeling a little under the weather. Anyway time will tell. take care all

arevoir Kiralea

AWWWWW THIS IS FOR MY WIFE

I just red what my wife had written and want to introduce myself.

I am Jason, Kiralea's husband, Jordan, Nicolas and Chloes father.
I at times have been difficult to live with especially under stress, working long hours etc.

Kira (my nickname for her) is a wonderful wife, mother and friend also.
Her genuine kindness to others, her compassion to people who are less fortunate has made me realise what a wonderful person i married.

Kira has a bubbly personality, always has, this is what first attracted myself to her.
Her zest for life is another thing i find highly attractive.
I am normally a very private person, and find it hard to communicate with others on a basic level so me writing this is all new to me.

Kiralea has gone to bed and i am writing this to suprise her when she next logs on, as she is always telling me i do not have many romantic qualities about me, yes maybe not as i have always believed buying flowers is a waste of money and flowers die, so than your relationship may also. I have many times bought fake flowers only to learn the dogs had chewed them.

Kira i love what you have written and after reading your blog dedicated to me i sat and thought about your words and realised that is was my turn to express my love for you and the kids also which i never have done as such.
You have fought for Jordy boy's rights in this world, Nicolas has turned out to be a wonderful caring and polite kid and Chloe is coming along with her milestones all because of you!!

So you may think at times i am no way romantic but this should be enough proof how much i love you and the kids and appreciate what you have done and made possible for our childrens lives in bringing them up in this not so perfect world.

Love to you my mon cherie
Jason xxx

JUST WANTED TO SHARE MY LOVE FOR HUBBY

I just wanted to show to everyone a photo of Jason and I with 2 of our bridesmaids when we were married.

The photo is of us in 1997 with one of my best friends Louisa (right) and my friend Michelle (left)

I write this because Jason and i have been almost married for 10 years.

On this day/night after, Jordan was concieved and i thank my lucky stars that he came into our lives 9 months later after spending a special day making our vows.

Jason and i have had many ups and downs and i take this opportunity to tell him how much he means to me.

Jason has supported me through depression, has suffered depression himself for a short while and basically helped me through tough times throughout our 16 years together.

He has stuck by me, stood up for me, and most days he makes me laugh with his witty sense of humour and crazy antics that makes our life together so complete.

I have taken this time to speak about the other important person in my life besides our children and that is my husband.

He is a great daddy, friend, mentor and lover, is extremely close with my family who adore him.

When we fight, at times in the heat of the moment i want to run away and leave, but at the end of the day as my mother has said, you could never live without him because besides our emotional ups and downs, he will always bend over backwards for me and anyone else who needs his help and support. I know he loves me equally and his actions speak louder than words.

The photo at the beginning is of Jason and the boys a few years ago. What a devoted daddy!

Jason never thinks twice to help vacuum the floor, help with the dishes, wash and dry clothes along with his moral support.

So Jason, daddy, this page is for you because i want you to know how much you mean to all of us.

Your never ending support with the children and myself means the world to us all.

I love you and always will my love

xxxx Kiralea, Jordan, Nicolas and Chloe.

WELCOME TOO JORDANS STORY

Thats me behind my poppy with brother
Nicolas and sister Chloe.
(i love iceblocks)

My name is Kiralea and our son was diagnosed at the age of 2.
I have dedicated this Blog for our little Jordy boy and anyone out there who has just had a child diagnosed with Autism or just to read out of interest. Below is Jordans story.
My Name is Jordan. I am at this point in time 7.5. I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of two.

My mother and father were devastated even though mum felt it in her heart before diagnosis. Daddy kept telling mummy i was ok and probally regressing after my brother was born when i was 17 months old. I love music and eating chocolate. Too much sends me silly.
I am happy most times and love affection and my back and arms tickled.
I'm handsome too and love to pose like a supermodel in the mirror.
I hope you enjoy reading what mum has put together all about
ME ME ME!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are so many people who I need to thank and my never-ending thanks go to:-

My Mother & Father, without them we could not have gone through his diagnosis alone.

Without their emotional & financial support from helping with Dr's bills to helping us accept our childs future with their positive outlook on life in everyway i dont know how we could have got through everything that was to follow.
In every aspect they have shown the utmost patience and understanding.
Mum and dad never stopped researching after he was diagnosed and always provided any information to help us get through this transition in life.

My brothers & sisters who showed utmost patience when all I could do was cry after the diagnosis, and always gave me a shoulder to cry on, as well as treating Jordan as an individual, not as someone who is just different.

My husband Jason, for putting up with my obsessiveness and letting me read to him research every day and accepting his sons prognosis with dignity and pride, always having faith that he would and could do better with the right treatments.Jordans aunties,uncles & cousins who have showed interest in his wellbeing.

They have always been willing to learn about autism and listen to the latest regarding his medical treatment etc.

Members of Jasons family who have always asked me how Jordan is and shown an active interest in his developments, especially Jasons cousin Genevieve who i now call my cousin and her kids call us Uncle Jay and Aunty Kiralea. She is such a dear member of our family and friend. Her support & willingness to understand Jordan and her sound advice provided to help me through hard times has been wonderful. She always knows how to uplift my spirits.

My Nanna Sue Lindfield who is my mentor with her wisdom. She is not only my Nanna but best friend. Even though she lives thousands of miles away in Perth, she is a phone call away and we always manage to have a great chat with much laughter. Nanna has always sent material to us and her knowledge of Autism has proven time she has spent researching material about Autism and has always been interested in Jordans progress.

My grandmother Florence Willis, who would talk to me late at night when all I could do was cry and did her best to try and understand what autism was, even though she was adamant that autism meant deafness, not a neurological disorder. Bless her heart.

My heartfelt thanks to all my friends who have listened to my pain and been there for me. Especially Tammy Bignell who herself has a autistic son and would always be happy to listen and give me great advice on how to deal with the lack of funding so our son could get the best possible chance in life.

And last but not least Jordans school Halinda. They have not only helped us overcome many hurdles with Jordans education, but also helped him try to understand what this world has to offer and to adapt to many different surroundings that awaits him in life. Their love, understanding, encouragement and patience has shown us what lucky parents we are that Jordan attends a school with 2 special teachers that have dedicated their time with so much commitment to his schooling needs for the last couple of years and I will have to be bias when i say, no one could have done better with him, the way they have. We thank them so much with words, that we feel is not enough.

FOREWORD

As a mother and father of an autistic child, so many of you reading this, could relate to the fact, how you look forward to being a parent. You may watch your baby grow into a contented toddler; they also might start to do everything on cue within the normal range, then suddenly their behaviour changes. Language they once acquired slowly lost.

Whether your child seemed to develop normally or not, it is not easy to understand why and when diagnosis is made that your child you thought was ok, has now been diagnosed with a life sentence called Autism. If you felt from the start something is not quite right, you at times feel you may be prepared for the worst, but the reality is, when those words are said by the Dr consulting you the time that your beautiful child is autistic, nothing will prepare you for the long road ahead that is to follow.

You may be faced with utter grief and despair, then comes the helplessness, and the big question, where do I start? In the meantime while getting over the shock, the reality sets in and you begin to face challenges that await you in helping your child prepare for life of independence and an understanding of the world around them.

My main aim in putting this story together is too let families who may be new to this transition in life that you are not alone. Your feelings of grief each day for years to come are normal and hopefully will see some positive outcome for each new day and that you were truly blessed with a child in the first place.

I truly believe that all of us parents with an autistic child were chosen, because you need to be special people with patience and understanding to face the challenges that lay ahead for us. I know being a parent to any child without a disability can be frustrating and hard work all the same, but having a child with autism is more frustrating because we have to learn to think for them, understand their needs and most importantly need more attention with their learning.

Over time you will see positive results which can be rewarding and especially when they say there first word you can look at it positively. I do hope you enjoy what I have compiled together about our special son and help you realise that you are not alone and help give you a positive outlook that awaits our autistic children.

A MOTHERS INTUITION

My husband thought everything was ok.
Everyone saw subtle signs and didn’t know what to say.
My husband leading up to the diagnosis was ever so strong,
No matter how much he reassured me I knew he was wrong.

Finally by the age of 2, any language he once acquired, slowly was lost
I then had to find out why, no matter the cost.
Our son didn’t appear to know his name anymore,
He no longer answered the phone hello, his eye contact was poor.

After his G.P referred him to a paediatrician, with some concern,
It was the sad fact he was autistic, we were to learn.
In the bottom of my heart for sometime I felt I knew,
At nights I would lay awake, think and stew.

No matter how prepared you think you are for the worst
Its when those words are spoken, you feel you’ve been cursed.
Why our beautiful little boy, our first born son
He no longer says to us dad or mum.

It was only after our 2nd sons 1st birthday, the realisation set in,
He wasn’t interested in clowns or toys, only his world around him.
It is so hard to express at times one feels with despair,
There have been moments when I think no one but me really cares.

I see other children playing happily and clapping along,
Something our son once did to his favourite songs.
Those memories I hold dear to my heart,
But I question myself, where do I start.

So too our little Jordy boy we all affectionately say,
We believe with our help, you will get better with each new day,
There will be hurdles and challenges to face with your autism
I know it will pay off with patience, call it a mother’s intuition.

JORDANS DIAGNOSIS

Our son Jordan Benjamin Powell came into this world on the 13th August, 1998, weighing 7 pound. Being my first pregnancy everything seemed to be going ok until around 6 months, when I developed high blood pressure and had to take medication to keep it down.

Jordan was born by emergency caesarean 4 weeks early, his agpar scores were 2 and 5 and had to be rescuciated after birth as he stopped breathing for a couple of minutes, then was placed in a humidicrib for 12 hours after for oxygen.

He then developed Jaundice, but never needed phototherapy, though he was up and down for 7 days with his Bilirubin, which kept peaking and coming down again. Jordan developed at alarming rate, almost crawling by 5 months, saying mumma/dadda by 6 months and was standing in his cot by 8 months. He started to walk one week after his 1st birthday.
He was always smiling, alert and a happy contented toddler and was a very pretty baby from birth to who he is today. He has brown curls, green/blue eyes that so many people have mistaken him for a girl at times. Nothing at the time ever seemed out of the ordinary until around 17 months of age. He started to make strange noises with his mouth along with his hands and makes a errrr noise, which he still does.

He stopped saying words he could say, like car, hello on the telephone when the phone rang. He seemed to want to be fed with his bottle again, with us holding it for him, which at first thought it was to do with his brother Nicolas being born and was reverting back to baby mimicking. People had told us not to worry because their children had done the same and he would pick up again. He then also started to line things up and would spin over and over again. His eye contact was poor by now which was fine to begin with. I used to think he was deaf or being ignorant when we called his name, but at the sound of a lolly wrapper or if I said chocolate he would stop what he was doing and come to get his lolly.

Well it seems as the months passed this was not the case, he seemed to get worse with his regression. It wasn't until his 2nd birthday I knew something was not right. My brother had said a couple of months before he thought he was autistic because he had a friend who's brother was autistic and Jordan showed classic signs of being autistic. I was in denial and so was Jason, my parents knew something wasn't right but wouldn't say much because they just hoped he would come good again after Nicolas being born.

My inlaws came over one evening for his 2nd birthday and it was that night I knew in my heart something was not right with his behaviour. When they turned up I was feeding him his dinner and he seemed to be fine, but as soon as everyone walked in, he cried uncontrollably, so I went outside and he would calm down again, I would bring him in again and he would start crying again. I then took him over to my parents who we lived next door to at the time while we had dinner and he seemed to be calm and sat with grandma who shared her dinner with him.
I knew that night his behaviour was not because he wasn't familiar with his other grandparents or anything like that. I talked to Jason and he still seemed to be in denial and kept telling me he was fine. After an argument I took it upon myself to take him to the medical centre to see what the doctor thought and within 5 minutes he knew our son was autistic and that he would send us to a paediatrician for a proper diagnosis.

We went back to my mum and dads and I just cried and mum just cried with me and said she and dad had felt he was autistic all along. We made an appointment with a Paediatrician and had to wait for one week before Dr Delougherty could see us. I will tell you it was the longest week of my life waiting for his appointment, I just wanted it over and done with as we had another little boy who was about to turn one and needed closure so I could do what I had to do for Jordan and concentrate on Nicolas as well.

After seeing the specialist, he was quite at first just watching Jordan as he walked around the office, touching things, making noises and being non responsive, then said he definitely was in a world of his own. The shattering realisation was confirmed, yes your son is autistic. I started to cry uncontrollably, my husband was telling me it was ok and the doctor told him firmly, no its not ok, your wife needs to grieve. Jason sat with a blank expression, which I know was shock and grief as he was so sure there was nothing to worry about at all, but being his mother I felt different.

I suffered a great deal of depression after his diagnosis, though it's only now Jason and I realise how bad I was. I couldn't go to work on and off because I would cry all the time so Jason would take time off work to support me, my boss at the time was so kind and understanding with the situation. I never saw my husband cry at first. I think he was state of shock more than anything. He was a great support. He would help me through my grief each day. It was only months down the track when he finally broke down and opened up to me about his grief because he had hopes and dreams for Jordan, we realise now that he may never play sport but he could still make us academically proud.

My father seemed to take Jordan's diagnosis hard and I could tell it really upset him when we had Nicolas's 1st birthday and we had hired a clown, Jordan was interested in lining up the paint tins, rather than watch. Mum and dad took a video of that day and realised how bad he really was. I think after that it was so obvious he needed a lot of work and care.

I never seemed to receive moral support from my in-laws, all his mother could say was poor Jason and it seemed if I got upset people would role their eyes at me and was not interested in how I was feeling. The day I told his mother she said to me oh well you will have to get on with it won't you. I was devastated at those harsh words, whether it was her way of dealing with her own sadness, I found it selfish and unforgiving that those words were actually said to me.

No matter how I thought I was prepared for the news, when it came to crunch time I wasn't. I am now looking at ways of making his life as fulfilling as it can be and I know he will do great in time to his best ability.

MY LIFE AS AN AUTISTIC CHILD WRITTEN BY KIRALEA-MAY POWELL (THAT'S MY MOTHER)

Below is me at school jumping on
the trampoline. Something i love
doing at home also.

I am currently 7 ½ years old. I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 2 about a week before my brother Nicolas turned one years old and had his birthday party.

My mother remembers his birthday party well because just being diagnosed it was still a raw deal.

My poppy had to leave the party later because he realised then how different I was too the other children attending. He was feeling sad because I was not interested in playing with the other children, I made weird noises and I kept trying too pinch the clowns face paint containers and line them all up.It was after they watched the video they recorded; it really sunk in that I was indeed Autistic and how different my behaviour was.

I started to count 1-10 by 2.5 years of age though these were the only words that were said clear enough for everyone to understand. I knew my entire alphabet by 3 ½ and by then was counting to 20.

Now we are in 2003. I am 4.5 years old, attending a special school.

I can write my alphabet A-Z quite well. This has proved to be a major breakthrough for my parents, because after they realised and sat dumbfounded by my efforts, all they could do was clap and cheer. I was confused at the time because I had no idea what the fuss was about, but now I write a letter, say it and look at them waiting for a response.

I love water; I do swim sometimes, getting braver holding my breath under water, though mum gets panicky when I start coughing and spluttering. I don't really like big pools where I cant touch or see the bottom properly, I cling onto dear life when mum and dad takes me in Grandma and Poppies pool.

Music makes me happy; I have a battery-operated organ and play the same demo song over and over. My mum and dad put up with it for a while then its time too take it to my room so they can get some peace and quiet.

I love dance music, when mum plays it for me I spin with my pillow over and over laughing with happiness. Its like the whole world around me just disappears and I am the only one on the universe.

My favourite pillowslip is one with moons and stars, without it I won't settle down to bed. My favourite part of the day is in the morning. I love to sit near the back door where the sun comes through.

I love my dummy, I scream and chat a lot and my parents just have to give me my dummy and that keeps me quiet for a while.I am pretty low maintenance at home, I would play happily on my own, and I love putting mummy's silky blouses on and parade around the house. I am pretty vain, as I love looking at myself in the mirror and posing like a supermodel i also love having my picture taken.My mum and dad say I speak French because they don't understand what I am saying; though lately I have started to say words and repeat sentences. My parents aren't sure if it's sometimes echolalia, though I have gone to the fridge and said milk or juice when I have wanted a drink. I do say coke or chocolate so my family believe I will come a long way with the correct education, though we know I will always be special.

Life can be frustrating some days; I throw myself around and scream. I shove my brother and sister when I am frustrated. I hate big crowds, I once went to my dads aunties for Christmas, I was sitting quietly playing with my computer until all these people started arriving, it was then I started to cry uncontrollably. Nothing will calm me, when I get into such a distressed state unless you take me away from all the people. I told dad out the front, want to go, want to go. Dad was surprised because this was the first time i had expressed myself emotionally through language he understood, When he brought me back to the party all I wanted to do was sit inside and flick the TV channels, away from all the people.

I am hyperactive most of the time, though I have days when I'm quiet and introverted. I have been really sick in my short life. I was hospitalised on a number of occasions for 4 days, the year 2002 was the last time I was hospitalised for Meningitis and Influenza A.

My immune system can't cope at times, so a normal cold could turn into something more. I have had lumbar punctures, cat scans, MRI's and an EEG. Mum never left my bedside even though at the time she was ill with Influenza A as well; she still slept with me even though she was told to go home.

My mum and dad are pretty patient and understanding with me, though I do test the boundaries at times. I love coming up to mum and kissing her, I have just started doing the sound effects as I kiss her and she thinks that is great. In a way I have learnt to be a little more sociable, and am starting to give more eye contact. My poor mum can't even go to the toilet without me wanting to sit at the door at times and try to kiss her.I love cuddles from my aunties Tanya and Sarah. Aunty Tanya just recently became a detective in the police force after being in uniform. I loved it one day when she came in her undercover car and showed us all the sirens and let us turn them on. I just couldnt stop pressing the button and all the neighbours were coming outside to find out what all the commotion was about.

The picture above is of my aunty tanya at grandma & poppys house with my brother Nicolas dressed as a policeman with my sister Chloe. Unfortunately i was at school that day.

There aren't many people who I will go to for affection, except my parents, grandma, Tanya and Sarah. Aunty Tanya and Sarah are my favourite aunties in the whole world. They love me unconditionally and are so patient with me. Aunty Sarah takes me into her pool sometimes and i love the spa. They are forever spoiling me and my brother Nicolas and sister Chloe.
I can be a handful at times when they mind me at their house or take me out shopping with them and they still love having me around and treating me no differently to any other child.

I love my aunty Anique (dads sister) she has a calming effect on me, especially when in the past she has sang to me.

I am adjusting to my uncle's affections though my Uncle Shane scares the willies out of me. I used to get very overwhelmed when we went to Grandpere and Gra Gras house (daddys mum & dad), when they would come out to the car or come over to our house, though I have learnt to be more acceptable of these transitions.

My poppy, I love to spend time with when he's on his computer. I love watching him play games and working. We have this little computer bond happening. He calls me his little French Prince because Daddys family come from the Mauritious Islands and speak French. (thats where i get my dark handsome looks from).

I have been rather naughty on a number of occasions, because I have switched poppies computer off while he is in the middle of something, then ran for my dear life, as I know I shouldn't do this. I have also deleted files. Boy does he get mad. I can't control the urge to touch buttons or light switches.I drive my mum and dad crazy, because I am always flicking channels on the television and turning the volume up and down. I even blew up a television one day.I hate the credits on videos and the ending of movies. I run and hide in my room until I know it is over. It absolutely terrifies me. Only I know why it scares me so much.

When I visit grandma and poppy I go mad with their televisions as well and have broken a video because I shoved something in it one day. I don't do this anymore, I have worked out how to put videos in properly and forward through the parts I don't like.

I am very animated and use my hands a lot when I talk in my own language.

I love it when my brother swings me on the swing, chases and tickles me. I hate it when he disturbs my routine. I like to line things up and when he walks over or touches my work I go ballistic scream and run through the house in sheer frustration.My brother Nicolas can be mean to me at times, but that is because I might interrupt his games as well. He is nice to me most of the time and I know he loves me a whole lot and is protective of me as well.I used to poke my little sister in the face all the time, just so she would cry as the facial expressions make me hysterical with laughter. Mum didn't think it was funny! I sit next to Chloe in the car and sometimes hold her hand, mum and dad are sure I find her quite cute as she gives me big smiles when I look at her. I pat her on the head and say bubba.

I have other annoying habits like opening and closing the grill door on the oven. It makes a bang noise when I open and close it. I love annoying noises like that. Dad hates it! I scream a lot and make this err sound with my mouth which is so loud and repetitive.

I always have seemed pretty happy with who I am. I do laugh a lot, love being tickled and screaming rah in mums face, so she does it back, I guess you could say it is a form of interacting which shows I have come a long way.

My grandpere and gra gra I don't see very much, as they live a long drive away. I surprised my grandpere when mum was in hospital after having our little sister. He took me for a walk and was reading a chart with numbers on it. He thought he had to help me count. I started saying 13,14,15,16 to 20 and he got the surprise of his life. I knew what I was doing and he was so proud of me.If you don't understand Autism, you should take the time to read all about it. This helps people understand me better, because I can be a handful most days.

My family were very upset when I was diagnosed. Some people don't understand why I am like I am, and at the end of the day my mum and dad suffer too because I was they're first born son, and they had many hopes and dreams for me in life. Their dreams for me are still a reality and they know just because I am different, doesn't mean I wont adapt to what this life has to offer for me.

I am now 5 and am still not toilet trained and have to wear nappies. I love to strip off and run around naked, much to mums dismay, because if I do a pooh I make a mess if I take my nappy off, so mum and dad have to be quick to change me. I have excelled in pooh art as mum says because if I take my nappy off, what a mess!

I love it when mum lays down with me to help me sleep, because she will tickle my back and stroke me until I drift off into noddy land.I am doing very well at school. The teachers are happy with my progress and mum and dad are too. Lately I have become quite difficult. I throw huge screaming tantrums. Mum calls it the terrible two's, as I am delayed with my autism, I have caught up a little more now.Mum and dad know I'm getting more difficult to handle because even though I am still delayed in areas, I am more aware of my surrounding and find it difficult to communicate at some certain levels.

I am now 6 years old. I am getting a good idea what the toilet is used for now, not just something with water that I can plash around in with. I go all day without a nappy on at school and use the toilet constructively. I come home and sit on the toilet with mum's help, though I seem to be a bit more relaxed at home and wet my pants.

I am doing well with understanding instructions. I also understand what everyone says around me. I have a memory like an elephant as the saying goes. I can be shown something once on the computer and will remember what to do. Mum and dad reckon I can work it better than they can. I count backwards from a thousand.

I remember peoples faces and say their names. I can spell and write my name. I enjoy my brother and sisters company and love getting hugs and kisses from them, which I love too reciprocate back.I told dad I loved him the other night when I was upset, while he was comforting me. Mum came home from work the other day and I ran to her with open arms and said mummy.Mum was beaming from ear to ear as this was the first time since I was one years old I had ever done this, Grandma heard and was proud of me.

My mum discovered a place called the Shack at Shoalhaven heads. It is a lovely place on the beach with a total of six units run by the Apex Club that caters for children with Disabilities and illnesses. There is a long wait but when our time comes to go, I get so excited when mum and dad tell me we are going and start laughing and clapping my hands when we are one street away.The first time we went, we met a nice family next door to us who are now our good friends and their daughter Kylie-Ann happens to attend the same school as me. Kylie-Ann is in a wheelchair and cant talk. Her mum Mary and Kylie-Ann are my friends. Mary is very kind to me and adores Nicolas my brother and Chloe my sister a lot too. Kylie-Anns dad Graham & brothers are really nice too, but I don't see them very often.

There aren't many people I go to besides Grandma, Poppy, my aunties Tanya and Sarah, my mums friends Louisa, Tammy, Kirrily and Megan.Dads cousin Warren and his wife Vicki is someone mum & dad trust to look after me who also understand me and are always so kind to me as I have to be watched all the time as I do tend to wander and have no road sense.

Mum really trusts Mary enough to leave us with her if a situation was to arise and we had to be looked after. We call her our adopted Grandma because she understands me like my Grandma does. Mary calls Nicolas her best mate as he always loves to tell her all about how he arrests me. Mary loves to listen to his conversations, though he does talk a lot like my mum does. She never shuts up!

When we last went to the Shack we met many children staying there also that were Autistic like me. Mum and dad said it was an eye opener, as they didn't realise how autistic I was until they saw other children behaving the same way as me. They would walk into our unit, open the fridge; cupboard doors help themselves to food like I do. Mum and dad didn't mind, as they understand that I am exactly the same. I cant help but walk up to people in a park who are eating something nice and just help myself to their food. Mum and dad get embarrassed and apologise, then explain to them I am Autistic.

Some people understand others are quite rude. Mum and dad took us kids to a huge park one-day and there was a icecream van. There was a large queue, so mum and dad lined up with us. I just couldn't understand that I had to wait to get my icecream so I screamed, yelled and cried for about 5 minutes. People standing in the line were making rude comments about my behaviour so dad decided to take me to the car while mum waited to be served. When dad walked away these people started saying things like what a little shit. Mum ignored them for a while, then finally asked them had they heard of Autism? They then replied no, so she told them that my behaviour was because of my Autism and that it causes me to exhibit undesirable behaviours in certain situations and explained that part of my brain was somewhat damaged because of my Autism, so I couldn't help it. They just rolled their eyes and looked away. Mum couldn't believe it and gave them the finger (up yours) when they looked back at me.

There is such a minority of people who just don't know how to express any ounce of compassion or try to put themselves in our shoes. Mum would happily hand over her shoes for a day and see how they cope. I'd also like to see these people walk in my shoes, borrow my brain for a day and see how frustrating it can be for me to live in a world of confusion.I have trouble sleeping at night. I can stay up to 2am and then get up again at 6am. I am hyperactive most days and just never stop running from one end of the room to another and turning the stereo on full blast. I am obsessed with Gwyn Stefani's music and play the same song over and over.

I make noises that are so mind numbing to others. I often repeat words over and over. One day mum took me to see a Holistic Paediatrician who specialises in dealing with Autistic children. He prescribed me Melatonin which mum only gives to me now if it sounds like i am not going to calm or settle down. If I am not given it somedays, i wont stop until god knows what time.

Melatonin is a natural hormone that Autistic individuals don't always produce that tells our brain that it is night time and night time is bed time. I live on autopilot. Melatonin has been a lifesaver, not just for mum and dad, but myself because I tend to stay in a deeper sleep and I am less likely to wake up thrashing around screaming in a distressed state for an hour like I used to do.

This display of behaviour seems to appear a lot in different Autistic individuals and I happen to be one of them. Mum and dad have found that since being on Melatonin, I have become somewhat normalised in some of my behaviours. This could be due to the fact that I am getting better sleep at night which enables me to function better on a day to day basis.

Too much sugar sends me mental, I suppose this can happen to normal children too. I tend to go into a severe Autistic mode, where I can go from being over excited; laughing making lots of noises then I crash, which then I will go into distress mode. I will cry, scream, throw myself around and am just down right difficult to handle. Mum knows now not too give me too much sugar like chocolate, it just doesn't agree with me.

Well today is the 11th April, 2005, I am on school holidays until the 27th April. Mummy thought I would sleep in because generally I don't want to get out of bed on school days, well mums idea went out the door from day one, I wake up between 5.45am & 6.30am. Turn the TV on and turn the stereo up.I get the milk out of the fridge and shove it in mums face to wake her up and tell her breakfast.I have to have a cup of tea with mum in the mornings. I have progressed so well, I actually wake up and yell "who's awake"

I use the toilet independently except I am frightened of doing my pooh in the toilet. I will bring mummy a nappy when I want to do one. Mum has tried sitting me on the toilet for 10 minutes, but I will hold on and on until she gives up and puts my nappy on. I interact really well with my siblings, playing tips and chasies and will bounce during the day on the trampoline with my favourite pillow.

I can swim without a floaty now. I almost got my sister drowned not that long ago because I found a box, climbed on it, opened the pool fence and jumped in, if it wasn't for my brother Nicolas and our cousin Courtney screaming for mum she probably would have drowned. My uncle Shane who i used to be scared of came around early the next morning with a special chain and padlock so I couldn't open the gate anymore.

I am going through a tormenting stage, I like to chase the cat and pull her whiskers and tail. Toots is 13 years old, mum calls her an old lady and to be kind. I cant help it because she has this face that looks like she has ran into a bus as she is a white Persian with a squashed up nose. She looks hilarious when she meows.

Well i am now 7.5 years old its 8th December and mums cat toots had to go to kitty heaven as she was very sick, mummy cried for weeks as she was her best friend. I went to school the next day and was upset all day and told the teachers toots died. Daddy bought mummy a new kitten and he is a Himalayan Persian called Moccha as he looks like chocolate. I am absolutely in love and in awe with him. I love going up to him, patting him and saying nice Moccha. We have these 2 Border Collies called Jack & Tiger. Jack has this understanding with me that i dont really understand yet & why, but when i have been in the pool on my favourite sunbed, i was screaming because i was enjoying myself and he must have thought i was in trouble because he kept running around the side of the pool barking & whining. When i got closer, he grabbed the sunbed with his teeth and dragged it closer to the edge. It was a wonder he didnt put a whole in it.

Mum has finally made a major breakthrough. I did my first pooh on the toilet the other day. Mum spent an hour making me go without giving in to a nappy. She was so proud that she started dancing around the house like a lunatic singing Jordan did a pooh pooh Jordan did a pooh pooh hip hip hoorah on the toilet. Mum and dad bought my favourite food "MCDONALDS" for dinner.

I like to wander off a lot and mum and dad cant sit for more than 5 minutes without having to bring me back to where we are sitting. I need to be watched constantly as i am a bit of a hudini.
We went out the other night to the Ettamogah pub for my aunty Natashas 21st birthday dinner and i never sat still. They have this playground area for children which is not fenced, so all i did was try to escape into the pub area where the pokies are because i am obsessed with the flashing lights of all the numbers and letters. It is a worry because the place was busy and i could have easily been lost in the crowds of people.
During the evening i went up to this little boy who was in a electric wheelchair and helped myself to his iceblock. As soon as mum went to stop me, the mother called out and told me to rack off. Mummy apologised and told them i was Autistic. They later apologised for their outburst.

Mum and dad did not get a break all night until 9.30pm when grandma and poppy took me home to there house so mum and dad could have a night out. Boy were they exhausted after 4.5 hours of chasing me non stop.

In 2003 my Uncle Shane married my new aunty Natasha and was married near the Nepean river. I looked so handsome decked out in my suit. My brother Nicolas was a page boy and my sister Chloe was a flowergirl. Aunty Natasha was going to have me as a page boy as well but mummy decided it was best if i wasnt as i would run around and not stand still.
All i did was scream in frustration as i dont like being tied down in the one spot so you can understand mummys decision to just dress me up. My dads cousins wife Vicki came and picked us up after the ceremony because the reception was on a paddle steamer and having children on the boat would have been dangerous. Poor Vicki, when we were put into the car we screamed all the way to her house and mummy had to laugh as she drove off because her face said it all while she was waving bye to mum and dad and telling them not to worry. They could still hear us screaming at the top of the driveway.

Below i would like to share some photos with you because aunty Natasha looked so beautiful.

This photo above is of my Uncle shane (mums brothers)who is standing behind me in the front to the left and Uncle Jamie behind my brother Nicolas on the right.

The picture below is Uncle Shane and Aunty Natasha with her bridesmaids, Aunty Sarah (mums sister) is the second from the left. Isnt she beautiful.

I am doing so well its unbelievable, my language is so clear now. I am communicating a lot more at home. My School are at their wits end because i am over the scale in the class. I have proven to be a challenge for the teachers to keep my learning levels increasing because i am far advanced than the other children. I am being migrated into mainstream IO support classes now.

Halinda where i attend have been taking me to the IO support classes where they are now assessing me to see if i can cope in this new environment. So far so good so hopefully i will be able to attend a school next year closer to home. They have done wonders with me, the teachers talk about me with such passion and get tears in their eyes when telling mummy & daddy what a joy i am to teach and how i am highly amusing with some of the comments i make. They made sure this year that i was placed again in their class because they didn't want other teachers to undo all the progress they made with me. I know they will cry a lot when i leave to go to mainstream because they will miss me.I will keep you updated with my progress so stay tuned.

VACCINATIONS, TREATMENTS & AUTISM

So Many questions and not enough answers?

Mercury (thimerosal) is being used in our childrens vaccinations.
It is a preservative used so it has a longer shelf life. Sounds to me although the Governments are aware of the dangers and continue to boo hoo the statistics they keep on using this preservative to save money. The longer the shelf life the less wastage saving them millions!

There seems to be more and more proof that vaccinations containing mercury is causing Autism in children with a pre-disposition like leaky gut which Jordan was diagnosed with after he was diagnosed with Autism.

There are questions about MMR causing Autism though the funny thing I found during my researching was the MMR shot didn't contain Mercury. So how can this be the cause of Autism? especially when it was given to a child when they turned one and they seemed ok until they turn 16-18 months then suddenly, they start showing signs of Autism. I once red a UK study that they decided to split the MMR into seperate shots and funny enough the amount of children being diagnosed with Autism dropped dramatically?

My theory is when a child with leaky gut syndrome has their vaccinations, after each one mercury leaks through the walls of the gut into the brain causing a build up of mercury which these children cannot seem too excrete out of their system.
I believe the combination of the MMR which contains the Measles, Mumps and Rubella Virus leaks through the walls of the gut into the brain, and when you think about the possible complications that can arise with Measles like brain damage it is not hard to realise that over time all the combinations of different vaccinations containing these ingredients is the cause of Autism in children with a predisposition.

I believe this is the case with our son Jordan.

Jordans Cycle of decline started with constant diarrehoea, a weak immune system maybe triggered from triple antigen vaccine (MMR) which not long after his shot of MMR he suffered from seizures and was placed under hospital observation where they could not find out why he had the seizures, I remember telling the Dr that Jordan had his MMR recently and asked him if the MMR shot was the possible cause and told NO! Over time he was constantly given antibiotics for frequent illnesses such as recurrent ear infections.

The antibiotics harm the healthy bowel flora leading to an overgrowth of candida (yeast), predisposing the child to develop a leaky gut.

As the gut cannot digest certain proteins, especially gluten (from wheat) and casein (from dairy). they enter the bloodstream malabsorbed, affecting the brain function & behaviour. I myself have suffered from gastro and bowel problems like IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). As a child myself i always suffered from constant ear infections, always having to take antiobiotics. I also suffered from eczema. Who knows, is this why Jordan had a predisposition to Autism?

Jordan's language skills he had acquired disappeared and suddenly became very noticably anti-social, the suffering from skin allergies such as Eczema & Dermatitis also became apparent.

When Jordan was diagnosed the Paedtrician who diagnosed Jordan at the time ordered blood tests which came back showing no mercury but high levels of Lead.

We were at a loss of how he had lead in his system. My father who is a painter gave us a home kit to test for lead, he tested things like pots & pans, his cot that he had chewed on which we found was negative. I started researching on lead and symptoms of lead poisioning and learnt that vaccinations contain lead which opened up a new can of worms.

Soon after we went and saw a new Dr who was a Holistic Paedtrician and specialises in Autism. He ordered a series of tests like pooh stool samples and blood tests which was sent off to the states as Australia's technology is not as thorough with their testing. His results showed leaky gut syndrome, intolerance to wheat, dairy(casein) which some vaccinations contain, gluten and yeast. He had low levels of Zinc, also his copper ratio being higher than normal. He then started Jordan on treatments such as Probiotics (e.g acidophilus for healthy gut flora), anti fungal medicine to attack yeast overgrowth, essential fatty acids, vitamins such as B6, magnesium & Zinc along with a dairy & gluten free diet. Be prepared these treatments can be expensive.

When we started these treatments his Autism got worse then started to get better. After 3 months of these treatments along with diet intervention, his diarrehoea stopped completely, his immune system seem to repair itself and he no longer seemed to get seriously ill after catching a simple cold. We then started Jordan on Melatonin to help him sleep at night as he always seemed to wake up during the night with what i called night terrors. The melatonin did wonders for his overall behaviour and day to day functioning. This is probaly due to the fact he was getting a better full nights sleep. His language picked up within 3 months after, from being totally non verbal to talking actual sentences.

He seemed to understand more instructions, his eye contact picked up and his communication skills just seemed to get a whole lot better.

Another interesting fact about Mercury poisioning, my best friend Kirrily (yes she has the same name as mine) was diagnosed with Mercury Poisioning in roughly 1992 at age 22 which she later found out it was from eating the fish she frequently caught in a river that surrounded the BHP Steel Works. Over time she started to get constantly sick, fatigued, suffered constant dirraheoa, skin problems like, eczema and dermatitis, reflux, debilitating muscles aches, joint pain and lost a lot of weight which she didnt need to loose. Kirrily found she couldn't eat the same foods anymore, her diet became bland because everything made her reflux worse, couldn't tolerate eating meat anymore, certain vegetables and fruit. She then not long after had to quit University as she was struggling with concentration. Kirrily went from a healthy, intelligent, sports loving and happy person to someone you barely knew anymore. Her mood swings were constantly up and down. One minute she would go into laughing fits for ages then would sit in a room staring into space. You would talk to her and she would be non responsive. (sounds like a autistic child doesn't it) She became depressed and suicidal because all the years of suffering with no answers except Dr's telling her she was suffering from anorexia, had taken its toll on her mind, body and spirit.

Her periods stopped altogether and it was roughly 18 months ago at the age of 33 they came back regular again after having a Laproscopy even though nothing was found out of the ordinary.

Kirrily then went from Dr to Dr looking for answers. Blood tests never revealed anything only having high white cell counts due to infection and was prescribed antiobiotics over and over which never did a thing. They ignored the reflux problem instead of ordering tests for a endoscopy. Kirrily not long after moved to QLD (Australia) and the age of 24 she met this Dr who was a professor who took her symptoms seriously. He ordered a hair analysis, endoscopys and the findings were a god send because this was the start of her long road to recovery. He diagnosed her with Chronic Fatigue, the endoscopy showed after all the years of suffering reflux it had eaten away at her digestive tract, he was horrified at the findings and couldn't believe no Dr in Sydney picked this up and had treated it earlier, had it been treated earlier the irreversable damages could have been prevented. This was one of the reasons for her weight loss.

Her hair analysis came back with shocking results, the mercury levels in her body went off the graph along with lead and other toxic metals found in her body. She was ridicously depleted of essential vitamins and minerals. He then immediately started her on a long road of Chelation to rid these toxins out of her body. Kirrily came back to Sydney to recover at her mums, while travelling back & forth to QLD for treatment.

After her chelation was finished, it was not the end of all her problems. The Mercury had done so much irreversable damage to her immune system that she still suffered from Chronic Fatigue for years after. Her overall health declined. The Dr who was treating her put her in contact with another Dr in sydney who carried on with more tests.

A muscle biopsy diagnosed her with Fibromyalgia which is a chronic pain syndrome. People with fibromyalgia commonly experience burning or aching pain through various musculoskeletal regions throughout their body, including joints. Neuromuscular disease, the brain controls the movements of skeletal (voluntary) muscles via specialised nerves. Today Kirrily has recovered from Chronic Fatigue, but still suffers from gastro problems and has to take medication for life to ease her suffering. Food she once couldn't tolerate is a thing of the past to a certain degree but her immune system is still up and down. Kirrily suffers from frequent flare ups of boils all over her body especially if she is stressed, they have then turned into major infections like Golden Staph. This has left her with deep tissue scars everywhere (as she told me thank god it didn't affect her face) her self confidence has been shattered because she is forever covering herself up in 40 degree heat to hide them.

I believe Kirrily's behavioural and other symptoms with Mercury poisioning, wouldn't you agree is excactly the same as a Autistic childs symtoms? There have been findings by the Dr looking after Jordan, that certain Autistic children here in Australia that he has treated and diagnosed with mercury poisioning, that not long after treatment their autistic behaviours and medical problems have somewhat disappeared, or their autisic behaviours have improved in a lot of areas like our son.

Here is food for thought. Here is some information I found researching:

By age two, American children have received 237 micrograms of mercury through vaccines alone, which far exceeds current EPA "safe" levels of .1 mcg/kg. per day. That's one-tenth of a microgram, not one microgram.
Day of birth: hepatitis B-12 mcg mercury
30 x safe level
At 4 months: DTaP and HiB on same day - 50 mcg mercury
60 x safe level
At 6 months: Hep B, Polio - 62.5 mcg mercury
78 x safe level
At 15 months the child receives another 50 mcg
The mercury in vaccines, however, is in the form of thimerosal, which is 50 times more toxic than plain old mercury.

Inquiry into vaccine safety is exploding like never before, even in the popular press. Research coming from dozens of mainstream medical studies can no longer be easily suppressed, as it has been in the past, especially with the prevalence of online information exchange.
These one-day blasts of mercury are called "bolus doses". Although they far exceed "safe" levels, there has never been any research conducted on the toxicity of such bolus doses of mercury given to infants all these years.
Inconceivable
Historically, the toxicity of mercury has been known for more than a century. The Mad Hatter was more than a fantasy character from Alice in Wonderland. Mad Hatter's disease became well known in England in the mid-1800s, when hat-makers were subject to inhaling the vapors from the mercury-based stiffening compound they used on felt to make top hats.
Sources of Mercury
It is interesting to learn that common household remedies that were used up into the 1960s like mercurochrome and "teething powder" were often the cause of acute mercury poisoning and disease.
In the U.S., EPA mercury toxicity studies have involved contamination from fish, air, and other environmental sources.
Methylmercury has long been associated with serious neurological disorders, demyelinating diseases, gut disease, and visual damage.
The mercury in vaccines, however, is in the form of thimerosal, which is 50 times more toxic than plain old mercury.

There's no blood-brain barrier in infants.
Mercury accumulates in brain cells and nerves.
Infants don't produce bile, which is necessary to excrete mercury.
Mercury And Vaccines

Here's a curious "coincidence." In the late 1930s, Leo Kanner identified autism as a new type of mental disorder. So when was thimerosal introduced into vaccines?

The 1930s

Autism and mercury poisoning damage the: brain/nerve cells; eyes; immune system; gastrointestinal system; muscle control; and the speech center.
It is a new bowel pathology.
Dr Wakefield showed graphs of the U.S. and U.K. 10 years apart that were identical in tracing the skyrocketing incidence of autism just after the MMR vaccine was introduced.
He also showed how the incidence of measles had dropped over 85 percent on its own before the MMR was introduced.
One incredible study cited by Wakefield showed how 76 percent of children whose mothers were exposed to atypical measles became autistic after the MMR shot! He called this a "background susceptibility" or predisposition to autism.

Impressive findings, don't you think? I will leave it up to you after reading this blog page if you think this is why 1 in 100 children are now being diagnosed with Autism today.

Authorities say its due to the fact of better understanding and diagnoses, what a crock of crap I say! I wonder if they are vaccinating their new born children today? Only they know the truth in that matter.

HAVE YOU TRIED DIET INTERVENTION?

After Jordans Dr suggested Diet Intervention along with other treatments we decided to give it a go. I bought this book called "Diet Intervention and Autism" by Marilyn Le Breton, I found it to be not only very interesting to read but helped us put the puzzle together of some of Jordans extreme behavioural problems. With certain individuals sometimes it hasnt worked but to make it work you have to be committed, patient and dont expect it too work in a week.

SOME FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GLUTEN & CASEIN

If gluteomorphin and casomorphin are in our children from the foods that they eat then it is possible that they are not doing well in therapy because they are distracted by the effects of the foods. Many children have extremely high pain tolerances and do not cry when they bang their head against the wall or run into a door. It is possible that the "morphine" effect from the food they eat could play a role in not letting them feel pain and stealing their attention span to prevent them from learning when parents spend thousands of dollars on therapy a year.

Before we had heard about diet intervention and gave it a go, Jordan was a "drug addict", when i say this it is because after reading the effects that It is well known that casein (from human or cow milk) will break down in the stomach to produce a peptide known as casomorphine, which, as the name implies, will have opioid activities. Similar effects are noted with gluten from wheat and some other cereals [notably oats, barley and rye] in which the compounds formed are gluteomorphins. He suffered from sleepless night (neitherless to say so did we)
He would wake up crying, thrashing around in his sleep and seemed to be in some sort of pain, even though he seemed to have a high pain threshold, there were times my husband Jason and I would get so frustrated with him which didn't help, I was later to find out he was in pain, I suffered a lot of guilt for a long time after learning, that he was coming down from all the foods he had eaten containing Gluten and Casein that day which was causing thus mimicking the effects of opiate drugs like heroin and morphine. He was screaming out for another hit of Gluten and Casein. He would at times get up in the middle of the night, pinch a piece of bread, eat it and go back sleep. It was like he knew the bread would relieve the symptoms. (pretty smart way of thinking don't you think).

When we started cutting out all Gluten, Yeast, Casein and cutting down his suger intake it wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. I found all the foods that did not contain these ingredients, were expensive and very time consuming. We had to read all the ingredients on the back of everything we bought. People would stare at my husband and I as we argued about the contents of each packet, analysing everything about their hidden contents.

My mother and father ended up buying us a bread maker so we could make our own bread. The ingrediants like Xanthum gum amongst other items were just as costly to buy than the loaf itself along with the aggrevation of having to get the measurements correct in order for the bread too rise properly. I tried cooking biscuits and cakes and found along with the bread he wouldn't eat it unless it was toasted. Butter was replaced with Nuttalex margarine. In the bin the Vegemite went along with the peanut butter, he could only have honey and some jams on his toast. Because he loves baked beans he virtually lived on them. The bread would go off quickly if not frozen, and would crumble easily and this was the same with bought bread. Gluten free sausages had to be ordered from the butchers so they would make them first thing in the morning before other sausages were made because the machine would other wise contain traces of Gluten etc.

Because Jordan loved Yogurt I switched to soy yogurt and soy milk for his cereal, we did also try rice milk but after trying it myself i could understand why anyone would heave at the taste, he ate his breakfast with soy milk but wouldn't eat the yogurt.
We tried giving him treats such as soy chocolate, which he quickly decided this was not something his taste buds enjoyed. Dishes like Lasagna and Spaghetti Bolognaise was costly because of the price of pasta not containing these ingredients but we were lucky he still would eat it. Cheese which he loved was replaced with goats milk cheese or vegetarian cheese something he wasn't keen on either. His diet had become so limited that I became worried he would starve to death. Thank god he had always loved and eaten his fruit though thinking back now there were some fruits he couldn't have.

Everything I had containing Gluten, Yeast and Casein in the house had to be put out reach as their were days he would find something and help himself which would undo all our hard efforts. Nicolas had to go without around Jordan because Jordan couldn't understand why he would have to miss out. He had to stop having his favourite take away "McDonalds" We had been told that he could eat the fries but after further investigation found that the oil used for cooking contained traces of Gluten etc because it was the same oil used for cooking the Hash Browns from the morning menu. The only chips he could eat were the plain flavour french fries from a packet.

After first starting his diet, for 2 weeks his Autistic behaviour became more unbearable which was to be expected because he was detoxing. I tell you honestly I almost chucked the towel in after the first week. He constantly screamed, the mind numbing noises he always had made became louder and more aggressive. His sleeping pattern was disturbed even more at night. (i wish back then we knew there was such a tablet called Melatonin).

After his second week the changes in his behaviour became more noticeable. Jordan started sleeping soundly once put to bed, his eye contact improved somewhat, his mind numbing noises decreased even better than previously and his screaming around the house out of sheer frustration seemed to diminish also.

What I found more profound was the repetative behaviours he had displayed like spinning constantly, lining things up, switching lights and the television on and off which was a Obsessive Compulsive Disorder problem, reduced dramatically. His once gabbling of non sensical words (we used to say he was speaking French) turned into words we could understand. Along with the other treatments his Dr put him such as, Zinc, Magnesium, B6 complex, acidopholis along with his medication for his Candida problem, the overall change was amazing. He started counting to ten, reciting some of his alphabet which was obviously due to the fact he loved watching educational videos, along with grandma and I also reading alphabet books to him. By now he was about 3 years old. After keeping him on the diet for 3 months we ended up introducing these foods again to his diet.

The great thing was, he didn't revert back to all his old behaviours as some people had experienced after stopping the diet. It was around about a month later we started letting him eat normally again, we did notice he was harder to put to bed and get him to sleep at night. Once he was asleep he no longer woke again until the morning.

When Jordan turned 4.5 after starting special school it became harder to get him to sleep and stay asleep. You would think after starting school he would come home exhausted, not our little Jordy boy, no way. We would think he was asleep only to be awoken between 1am and 3am in the morning to a blaring stereo and television.

When Jordan was 5 years old, we were told about Melatonin and purchased it from his Dr.

Melatonin is a hormone, secreted by the pineal gland and derived from serotonin, that helps set the timing of the body's biological clock, which some autistic individuals don't produce properly, Jordan happens to be in this group of minority, and it became a life saver for him and never the less for us. Pop him this magic wonder pill and within 15 minutes he was sound asleep and stayed that way till morning. Within 3 months after starting on Melatonin his speech and language picked up, concentration at school improved, he could sit and listen and learn for longer periods than before. His was now understanding more when instructions were given to him. Obviously all these masked improvements were because he was getting a better nights sleep and was able to function better on a day to day basis.

He now today understands every thing we ask him to do, he answers our questions yes or no, he no longer repeats sentences over and over or new words in a repetative way. He does however role play out his days at school or his days at home at school which is still somewhat a obsession at times. We hear everything that the teachers may have told him like "sit down Jordan" or "that was very naughty" which we say to him often enough as well. Overall his outlook has become somewhat very optimistic after his Dr told us so. The fact is we have also seen all these positive changes with his progress.

So thanks to diet intervention and treatment by Dr Underwood he has come a long way and hopefully he will reach the top of the mountain that awaits him.

THIS PAGE IS ALL ABOUT MY BROTHER AND HOW IT BECOME HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH MILD ASPERGERS DISORDER.

When i (Jordan) was 16 months old on the 3rd of February, 2002 my brother Nicolas entered this world by cescarian weighing a healthy 7.5 pounds, god had he gone to full term he would have been a whopping 9-10 pounds. Although the Dr's thought by now he was 37 weeks old, they learnt actually infact he was 5 weeks early. Nicolas entered this world with the best lungs, so mum and dad knew he was ok. Previously Nicolas kept wanting to come out early. What was thought at the time being 25 weeks, mummy went into labour and the Dr's were able to stop it. Nicolas then decided again at 30 and 32 weeks he wanted to come out and meet his older brother, once again the Dr's were able to stop the labour but finally not long after they decided to take my brother out to meet me. The fact that mummy had a irritable Uterus didn't help things either.
Mummy had constant high blood pressure throughout so she was always in and out of hospital.

Because Nicolas was 5 weeks early he was covered in lots of yukky Vernix, and the valve to his heart had not formed properly (which forms normally from 37 weeks in the womb), thus causing a murmour in his heart which had to be followed up at 6 months and 1 years of age to make sure it had closed properly. Over time it has taken a while for Nicolas to understand what there is know about me. As Nicolas got older he became my best friend even though by now i was showing signs of being Autistic. We enjoyed sleeping and snuggling up together and he would follow me around everywhere annoying me and interrupting my routines.

When Nicolas was about 3 years old mum and dad started noticing some of Nicolas's behaviours were a little strange as well, but because his language skills amongst other things were excellent from 18 months and didnt really give it much more thought. At 16 months Nicolas got really sick and was hospitalised after having temperatures and seizures. Mummy cried a lot with worry and never left him which didnt help that the fact was she was pregnant with our sister Chloe and at the time her hormones were going wild. A couple of times when she left his bedside to go to the toilet he had more seizures which worried the Dr's. After many tests the Dr's diagnosed him not long later with Phneumonucoccal. Thank goodness he pulled through after spending 5 days in hospital.

After this event he became obsessed with different things, his temper tantrums were still really horrible even after going through the terrible two's stage, which they thought should have calmed down by now.

At 3 years of age, Nicolas started hitting hitting himself all the time, hand flapping and walking on his toes. At daycare he didn't really like being all that social with other kids and preferred adult company with the teachers. They used to tell mum and dad how he would follow them around just talking and asking them all these questions over and over and what a bright, intelligent and enchanting child he was.

When Nicolas turned 4 just before my sister Chloe was born he had become more difficult, no matter what you said to him after trying to explain why he had got into trouble he would take things literally. I mean literally! He would then obsess over and over about it, and then would always apologise to mum and dad after an incident. He started behaving defiantly even more so, having trouble at times processing instructions from mum and dad and was down right disobediant and arguementative. No one believed mum and dad when they said he was showing symptoms of ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and somewhat Aspergers symptoms because all in all he seemed like a normal, developing child. My grandma and poppy (mums parents) had seen some odd behaviours but didnt seem to worry too much about it. Mum and dad also noticed after he would pinch his sister, he would go into distress mode crying and start saying i cant help it my brain tells me not to do it but my brain cant stop me doing it.

When Nicolas was 5 he started school and at first loved going. Not long after he hated going, complained of being bullied, that he often felt strange/weird and that his brain was sore from trying to learn at school. He also told mum and dad he had no friends and no one liked him. The teacher later told mum and dad he was struggling at processing certain things, unable to concentrate on things at times, have innappropriate outbursts in class whilst she was teaching, telling the teacher all about his holidays, how he wanted to work in the police force in the Swat team etc, seemed somewhat Dyslexic, daydreamed in class and thought he may have Aspergers. Mum and dad decided to take him too see my paedtrician who diagnosed Nicolas with mild Aspergers, OCD and ODD.

Later that year Nicolas started a new school after moving out of the previous area.

When he was enrolled at his new school, mum told his teacher the diagnosis and showed the relevant paper work from his Dr, she then decided to put together a learning plan for him that would help with his schooling. He is now excelling in his schooling. Nicolas has recieved many awards from school for his achievments. He has proved to be very popular amongst his peers and gets on especially well with the older kids at his school. Mum and dad are so proud of him because he has also recieved awards for just for being nice to other kids when they have fallen and hurt themselves in the playground or if a someone is being bullied he comes to their aid, being the first one on the scene to pick them up and comfort them.

Nicolas is now almost 6 years old and he loves to bounce on the trampoline with me. He tickles me to death to help make me laugh, cuddles and kisses me all the time especially when i'm having a bad day. All in all he is a loving, concerned brother that has compassion for me and others and even though i find it hard to express my feelings in words, i love him unconditionally and along with mine and his own hurdles and challenges that await for us in life, he will always be there to pick me up and never stop telling me how much he loves me. (By the way mum has started crying again while trying to finish this page).

ABOUT MY SISTER WHO WAS BORN WITH INCONTINENTIA PIGMENTI

My sister Chloe came into this world on the 8th April, 2002 by cescarian weighing a healthy 7.5 pound at 38 weeks. Wow i must say out of all of us mum had a pretty easy pregnancy with her.

After our brother Nicolas was born, mum was told by her Obstetrican she should not have any more children because her Uterus was now very weak and could burst during pregnancy putting her life at risk . After years from suffering from endometriosis, poly cystic ovarian disease and having 2 major operations separating her ovaries from her bowel, had caused adhesions to stick to certain repoductive organs had been told she could have trouble falling pregnant before she had any of us. Amazing we even made it into this world after all.

When mum fell pregnant with Chloe, grandma, poppy and daddy became concerned because of the complications that could arise with this pregnancy.
Mum and dad mulled over the idea of having a termination as soon as she learned she was pregnant again and had even gone so far to make an appointment to do so, but mummy backed out at the last minute after speaking to her obstetrician who informed her it was a risk, but would place her in the high risk clinic at the hospital and monitor her more closely than before, where she had to do the same whilst being pregnant with Nicolas, though this time it was more risky.

Mum was sick more than before, had different cravings this time around and it was when she was 3 months pregnant, daddy felt she was having a girl. Something mummy wanted and we all wanted as well, a little sister, niece and grandaughter, a first for all of us, not that it would have mattered at the end of the day, all they wanted was a healthy happy baby. Mummys pregnancy went pretty well throughout except that blasted high blood pressure again. Medication taken this time helped manage it, not like before when she was having Nicolas and I.

Mummy ended up having complications on the operating table and because she was awake the whole time felt herself drifting into unconsciousness. Chloe took longer than before to be born because of all the scar tissue that had to be snipped away to get her out and because of complications after loosing a lot of blood which started leaking into her chest cavity, amongst other things was later told by her obstetrician he didnt want to see her again having any more children. Poppy told mummy later as well, he didnt want her to take any more risks by falling pregnant, that he didnt want her to die and leave the already 3 beautiful grandchildren that she had managed to give them and leave them without a mummy, so daddy, 2 weeks later saw to that and made sure no more children would be conceived.

After Chloe was born, mummy recieved a call from one of the paediatric Dr's whilst in the recovery ward asking her if she could administer antibiotics as she looked virally.
Mum said that was ok and after she went back to the ward, they came in and spoke with her after mummy and daddy wanted to see her. They told them she was covered in pustules that looked like chicken pox and asked her if she had been in contact with anyone with chicken pox. After their answer was no, they started doing blood cultures for bacteria, all came back clear. Chloe was placed in a sterile room away from the other babies because of the chances with whatever she was born with could be contagious.
The Dr even asked her if she had Herpes, which horrified mum because as far as she was concerned she didnt. Poor daddy, recieved a phone call being asked if he had been with other women because she became extremely paranoid.

Mummy and daddy couldn't go into to see her without washing with special soap, covering their hair and body with hospital garments. She was closely monitored and all the this time no one could diagnose what these awful lesions were that covered her tiny body. Mummy remembers when she tried to undress her for a bath, her clothes would stick to her sores. Finally after 7 days of specialists from other hospitals came and went with no answers, mummy demanded to take her home as she knew whatever she had was not contagious. The specialist looking after her was not happy with her request but reluctantly let mum finally take our baby sister home.

A couple of nights later Chloe appeared unwell and her sores were looking worse, so mum and dad took her up to the Childrens hospital where a Dr who had worked in the UK years before, felt that Chloe had been born with a rare genetic disorder called Incontinentia Pigmenti. Mummy was like pardon me, please talk in english.
She proceeded to call a skin specialist telling him her feelings of Chloe's diagnosis and made a appointment for us to see him the following day. Mum and dad kept asking her questions, but never got any answers until they saw the specialist the next day. When they arrived he confirmed the Dr's suspicions and began explaining what this meant, how she was born with this rare genetic chromosone disorder and began answering all their questions honestly and openly.

Mummy asked him if it could cause Neurogical problems, (by know he knew that i was autistic), paused, sighed and said yes. Mummy then burst into inconsolable, hysterical tears. Daddy was bewildered and sad as well while trying to comfort her.
Mummy thought it was all her fault at first, but the Dr told her it was infact not her fault and nothing could have been done to prevent this from happening, but the thought of possibly having another child with a Neurological problem was bad enough, and that the fact it could happen to their only daughter who happened to be their last. This Dr was such a kind man, he even rang mummy at home to see how she was dealing with the situation.

Not long after they saw a geneticist where Chloe and mummy had to have blood tests because it was something that was usually inherited unless it was caused from a mutant gene, and because it was a extremely rare Chromosone disorder, with only one other known case here in Australia and 2 in the UK so far to date.

Mummy & daddy were later to find out it was infact caused from a mutant gene.
Chloe had to be closely monitored by a Paedatrician for her first 2 years of life to make sure all her mile stones were developing ok and no seizures had ever been apparent. Chloe did at 6 months undergo Physiotherapy for her muscle tone and has to have yearly eye tests to check for Retina detachment which is common until she is 6 years of age.

Below mummy has gathered some information about Incontinentia Pigmenti:-

Incontinentia pigmenti is an X-linked dominant disorder that presents in at or soon after birth. Although the condition involves the skin primarily, there are a number of associated disorders including dental defects, convulsive disorders, mental retardation, ocular abnormalities and childhood neoplasms. Because it is almost always lethal in males, is observed almost exclusively in female infants.

Congenital herpes simplex can mimic incontinentia pigmenti, and both the inherited and the infectious disease may occur simultaneously.[5] Other infectious diseases, such as congenital varicella, neonatal and congenital candidiasis, and staphylococcal infection must also be excluded.

Today Chloe is 3.5 years of age, her only underlying problems so far is, her teeth look like sharks teeth (or cone shaped) which later she may need dental cosmetic surgery to fix them and has to go on a waiting list so it doesn't cost mum and dad thousands of dollars. Her left eye looks a little inward but they are keeping a close eye on that (no pun intended). A little scaring on her torso which hopefully will fade with time. The thing is, when she has children of her own, her children will be born with this as it never skips a generation because the the mutant gene cannot be prevented with future children. We have been told also she can only have girls because having boys can be a problem causing severe Neurological problems.

My sister Chloe is a happy, intelligent girl with a positive future. She is yet to still understand my Autism and how it affects me at times, she is loving and always fun to be around especially when we all are bouncing on our trampoline together. While Nicolas and i play on a different level, she does try, and momentarily annoys me, no doubt, in time she will learn how to interact with me the same way. Over time we will learn together how to understand one another. I would also like to add, mummy and daddy know i love her also unconditionally and i want her to always remember that.

THIS PAGE IS ALL ABOUT MY MUMMY GROWING UP

I thought i would add to my blog about myself growing up attending school and how i have finally found peace with myself. Before i start i will just let you know when i begin writing i become very anal retentive and just go on and on.

I was born in Australia (Sydney) 27th June, 1971. I was a chatty child and believe it or not was walking & running at the age of 9 months. I used to share a room with Aunty Sue when she was living with us and loved to turn the light on and off, waking her up to have a chat.
I started school at 4 and by the time i was in 3rd grade mum and dad were constantly getting calls from the school regarding my behaviour. I was disruptive always throwing paper aeroplanes around the class, wouldnt sit still, and constantly chatting to others and struggled to concentrate. The funny thing was my teacher at the time while telling my dad all this was walking from one side of the room to another and wouldnt look at him. He was getting so peeved because she couldnt seem to stay still either (he he)

I had very few friends and was always picked on. My parents took me to see a specialist and i was diagnosed as being hyperactive. I had food intolerances and couldnt eat anything with Artificial, Colours or Flavours in it. Mum used to dread it when i went to a birthday party because i would come home and the next day i was difficult and an absolute horror to deal with. It was later on in life after i got married we all decided i infact suffered from ADHD.

When i started high school the bullying continued but managed to make some very great friends whom are still my friends today. I still lacked concentration, was desruptive in class and used to love making whistling noises behind my maths teachers back which annoyed her. Come to think of it, the reason i always did it was because it made the class laugh and would do this when they asked me too. I used to also torment my science teacher along with other classmates that would reduce him to tears, which then he would have to leave the room. I would talk constantly, how many times i was sent out of class i couldnt count on one hand. Drama & English were my best subjects and have always been known to dramatise certain situations.

I started working at 14 and 9 months with McDonalds, worked my way up to crew trainer, then became a assistant manager at 17 years old after leaving school. Life was great, i was popular in my job and made many new friends. I stayed there until i was 18 years old. My boss at the time didnt want me to leave, but left anyway because i was offered a full time job at McDonalds Head Office as a data entry operator in payroll. I felt at the time i needed a change and learn new skills. I was very fortunate because they trained me in all aspects of the job. I soon left there and moved onto other jobs and wish now i had stayed there because after leaving i was in and out of jobs and unsettled. I found it hard to concentrate more than before and was sacked from jobs on many occasions. McDonalds was the only job i had where they were patient with me and seemed to do well at.

For years i have suffered depression and manic phases as i call them, always in and out of work which i believe is the reason why i couldnt hold down a job long enough. I used to be very clingy to people so you could say at times i was a bit of a vampire friend. I like to be liked and got upset and would obsess over and over what i could do to make people like me more. This obviously explains my disruptive behaviour in school because i loved getting attention and making people laugh.

Dont get me wrong, i grew up in a very stable environment with loving parents and family who have always been there for us and to be honest i was probaly more spoilt than my other 4 siblings.

At 15 my parents bought my first horse Showgun after nagging them for years. He lived in our back yard for a while until we could make other arrangements with a place to stay. Showgun was 5 years old and green as a cucumber (saying when a horse is untrained properly) so mum and dad organised a trainer to come out and give me lessons on him. At the time we lived opposite a school for juveniles and i was allowed to use their land to ride on. That day we were walking him up the side of the house and the trainer was walking behind him with a crop and must have tapped him with it which spooked him, he then jumped over me where i fell into some ladders, got kicked in the ear and took the 6 foot gate with him and bolted off up the road with the reins over his head.

After catching him whenever i went into the yard he would charge at me and try to kick me. Dad was the only one who could go into the backyard and touch him. Dad & Mum decided he had to go. I think that experience must have scarred this horse for life. Mum and dad went out and bought me another horse who took to me straight away and told us that i was the only person who had been able to get on him since he had been put up for sale. At first i thought this was there way of trying to sell him but later found out that it was infact true.

I remember that day well. We were getting ready to pick up Shiloh and i got into trouble and was told i was not going to get him anymore. We got in the car and all the way there i didnt know mum and dad were actually going there to get him, i thought i had blown my chances. I soon joined a pony club and became well known for my stupidity. My horse must have had ADHD along with me because he was naughty, he used to rear up when he didnt want to something and full of boundless energy. I used to gallop up the driveway to pony club because i knew this used to annoy the crap out of everyone as it wasnt permitted at all. I was in a way out of my element because all the people who went there were stuck up snobs and owned $2000 show horses and together Shiloh and i were a couple of red necks.

A couple of the girls at pony club who were experienced riders decided he was misbehaving like this because of my inexperience. When they tried to ride him he would throw them off his back because besides myself he did not like any other people riding him. I used to laugh and still do at the thought because obviously this hurt their know all pride.

Shiloh wasnt a horse to be ridden by a novice like myself, but over time i red books along with my father where we would spend hours arguing, him telling me what i was doing wrong. Yep and i wouldnt listen either. I had to do it my way so dad chucked in the towel after trying to help me. Dad even went as far as doing a farriers course so he could shoe Shiloh himself.

Well i am proud to say i finally had this horse within 6 months, showjumping at a high level and getting better with dressage putting his head down on the bit.
I trained him to stop rearing up on me after learning filling a plastic bottle with water and hitting him over the head everytime he reared, he would feel the water go over his head, making him think he had hit the sky. This worked and he then would only rear on command.

In the middle of Dressage he used to jump out of the arena all the time whilst in the middle if doing a figure of eight, it was like he struggled from a concentration problem and couldnt be bothered. As time went by he became quite good at Dressage.

Not long after i started to recieve a lot of compliments from people about the accomplishments i had made with him. He was my best friend. I could spend hours with him in the paddock cleaning up the manure and he would just follow me around, loved nudging me up the bum when i was leaning over or rubbing his head on me to get my attention.The only other people who he let ride him were children when i led him around. When i would come to the paddock he would whinny and bolt up to me. My friend Louisa whom i met at pony club still laugh at my antics and how everyone thought i was crazy.

In 1990 at age 20 i met my now husband Jason and married in 1997. I fell pregnant on my honeymoon and Jordan was born 8 months later.
Soon after i became depressed constantly, obsessed with writing poetry about our first newborn. I am sure i still have these manic phases at times. I would start something and then wouldnt finish it. Other days i wont stop with what i start with until its done like writing this blog. Some days I am non stop. I will talk incessantly and fast, feeling highly elated, then suddenly i dont want to talk to anyone.
I have periods where i will tell people i am going to study all these courses. I would enrol turn up for a day and decide i want to do something else. I will tell everyone i want to become an accountant, another day i want to be a physcologist, a veterinary nurse ( that actually was the longest course i have ever stuck with), a marketing consultant, a qualified real estate agent, and even gone as far as trying to find work as a special needs assistant. People who dont understand me think i am just crazy and wish me all the best. In other words good luck we've heard it all before.

My parents at times tell me they think i may be Bipolar and should see someone. I dont have many days anymore where i felt constantly useless, suicidal and unloved. I do however a lot, feel everyone is ganging up on me and have to constantly justify myself. After Chloe was born i had to go onto Prozac for a combination of things like severe post natal depression for 3 years. I suffered depression throughout my pregnancy with Nicolas and after he was born when Jordan was 17 months old. I started drinking heavily to mask my problems, spend hours on the phone to people crying or just to talk as i was feeling trapped and needed adult stimulation. I always felt I could cope better after a few drinks. I am glad that even though i was drinking, i managed to look after the kids well and always kept my house tidy and dinner was always put on the table on time.

My depression became worse after Jordans diagnosis. All this time i never went to the Dr for help as i felt i was in control and had been recieving a lot of support from Jason and my family but thinking back i remember sitting in the corner of the kitchen in a feotal position crying. Jason would come home from work hearing Nicolas screaming in his cot which that was all he seemed to do. I struggled to bond with him and at times i hated him. Thank god I never ever hurt my children.

After Chloe was born that was my turning point, my depression spiralled out of control. Chloe was born with a rare genetic disorder called Incontentia Pigmenti which i will talk about in my other blog page and her outlook was not positive at the time and because of the chances of having another child with a neurological problem i went downhill. I didnt enjoy being a mother, after struggling to bond with Nicolas i was struggling with Chloe, the daughter i had wanted so badly now seemed like a inconvenience. I felt i had become this monster that was trapped inside my mind. I was always worrying that something would happen to one of the kids. I couldnt even drive over a large bridge without scaring myself with thoughts with, what if they fell off the bridge into the water and drowned. Constantly checking them in their sleep every 2 hours, sometimes every 5 minutes to see if they were still breathing. I would go to a party see a baby being held near a fire because it was so cold outside and worry that the mother would drop her baby into the fire.

Over time Prozac became my life saver, the obsessive thoughts went away, i then learnt how to adjust with motherhood in a much healthier way.

After Jordans diagnosis i became obsessed with autism and why suddenly he had been diagnosed with Autism. I suppose now i can admit neglecting Nicolas at times because i was so wrapped up in Jordan and what i was going to do to help him. Nicolas has always been a beautiful, loving child and often still ask myself how could i have done this to him. The guilt i have suffered over this has been going on now for years. Has anyone else ever felt this way? If so i would love to hear from you.

Today i feel contented and proud of my achievements with our children. I'm a very passionate person when it comes to addressing problems and ways of dealing with the situation. Without all the patience my family have had with me over the years i couldnt have made it through. I give myself credit too, because despite of everything, i have managed to get through each new day out of sheer determination, after learning that there are so many people who have suffered and experienced far worse than i have.

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH OUR AUSTRALIAN GOVERNMENT!!!!

I write this because i need to vent! Vent really bad about the assistance our government gives to families who have special needs children.
I have been going through the ringer getting Jordan a disabled parking sticker because he has no road sense, will bolt in front of cars when we go shopping if i have to park away from the shops. Try holding a autistic child in one hand why you try to lock the door on your car, or upon returning to unload your trolley, struggling to hold his hand and push it.

I have just been informed that we are not entitled to exemption for our disabled parking because i do not hold a pension card, which only single mothers get or parents of children with severe disabilities will get even though the husband goes to work and earns $80,000 dollars a year. My husband and I are not working at the moment and getting a partnered parenting and a carers payment, but this still makes us not eligible. I rang Centrelink this morning to also query our payments because all we were entitled to was $450 dollars a week for 5 of us. We pay rent of $365 per week, paying off a car so how are we meant to provide food and other costs that have to be forked out such as for our childrens education?

After rent we are left with $85 to live on. The guy from centrelink told me in exact words thats "too bad", the government makes these rules.
I have been told i will have to pay for Jordans disability parking sticker ourselves.
Although Jordan has a Health Care Card our Roads,Traffice Authority will not accept this for an exemption.

No wonder in this world we have alchoholics, depression and drug users commiting crimes. I think i would rather live in Jail with my family, because we would get more help on the inside than we struggling hard working honest families do on the outside.
Jail is not a nice place, but they are given 3 meals a day, a gymnasium, activities and work to earn some money along with free accomodation, a television and a change of indentity if need be after they get out to start a new life without copping any shit from people, and then are able to apply for work and a loan for a new car or home, because their names arn't on a default list.

I am going to fight this injustice, my children deserves everything from this world that has to offer. If we dont find work soon we could end up on the streets living in poverty like many other families are. If you own 5 houses, a millionare, you get tax breaks, what does owning houses do for our economy? nothing unless you build a house from scratch then this gives these people jobs.

I am so pissed off right now i am going to run up my phone bill, chasing the injustice, use lots of printer ink and paper, costing us, firing off letters to these politicians who do not give a rats arse for families who are in the same or similiar situation as we are.
I worked for years, so did my husband and paid our taxes and this is all the help we can get? No wonder people are choosing not to have children today, because of the high statistics of autism, i would be scared to, if you wish to vaccinate your child and give them vaccination injury like i know happened to our Jordan.

I am so sorry for other people in our situation, not only do we have to fight for our autistic childrens needs and education, we are punished with not enough money to live and prospher.

With all my heart i love you Jordan and i will not let another injustice in your life make you suffer any more at the hands of these GREEDY SMALL MINDED BARSTARDS!
Its about time we all got up and did something about this and show these WANKERS what we are all about! As my friend said YOU GO GIRL and i god damn will............
ARSEHOLES!!!!!!

I THINK I HAVE ALIENS IN MY HOUSE

Well as you all should know school has finished for the year. 6 weeks of bliss, well for the kids anyway. Their first day i was awoken at 6.30am after thinking i could hopefully sleep in till at least 7.30am. That idea must have been a dream because on school days i would struggle to awake them.

My day started with constant arguing over what they wanted to watch on Foxtel. Thank god we had Foxtel set one up in our room, so at least that was one less argument. After i thought that was sorted finally, i found breakfast cereal all over the kitchen floor, spilt orange cordial on the carpet. My mission for the morning was to mop the floor, fold the clothes and hopefully do some more work on my blog.

By lunchtime I had boiled some eggs to add to my potatoe salad for dinner that evening and left the eggs on the bench to cool before peeling them. At 2pm Nicolas and Chloe fell asleep (bliss) and Jordan layed down with his dummy and favourite pillow and looked like he was going to sleep also.
I then sat down on the couch to watch some TV and fell asleep. (i have learnt before dont ever fall asleep with a autistic child on the loose).

Within 1/2 an hour i woke up to Jordan screaming through the house, had found some xmas presents in our garage and opened them, then I found egg shells all over the floor and up the stairs with only the yolk eaten out of them,a half eaten iceblock that had melted all over our TV cabinet, the floor had dads spilt coke everywhere and too top it off he had gotten into the cream, smeared it on the floor, covering some of it with toilet paper and the rest of the role down the toilet blocking the toilet bowl!!!!!

If things werent bad enough, Nicolas and Chloe awoke wanting to go outside and play with their water pistols and jump on the trampoline. After slapping on their sunscreen, I let them out, they decided to make mud baths as kids do, with me screaming at them constantly to turn the tap off and stop wasting water. Mopping the floor before letting kids outside to play in mud isnt always a smart idea, as Jordan kept running inside and out, letting millions of flys in the house. I am still today finding flies and spraying them unless their is maggots breeding in my house somewhere, after leaving mud trails and dripping water on the floor and almost slipping on the tiles i decided to lock them outside and every 5 minutes they wanted to come in and go to the toilet. In the end i told them to go in the garden unless they needed too do number 2's.

Not long after bringing the kids in, washing and drying them off, jordan decided to pooh his pants a bit, proceed to pick his bum wiping it on the walls, it was not long after he walked past me i could smell that awful wooft of pooh. I washed his hands, sat him on the toilet and made him sit there for 15 minutes, which in the end gave up as he wouldnt go, then proceeded to clean up his pooh art off the walls. 10 minutes later he came to me with baby wipes with his pants around his ankles trying to wipe his behind getting it on his hands again. ARGGGGGGGGGGGG!

At 5pm i looked at my clock and thought yipee daddy will be home soon and as usual nothing much has been done.
Hubby wonders why at 5.30pm after returning home i poor myself some wine and proceed to get drunk! Great he says, am i going to come home each day during school holidays and find my wife getting sloshed? Me i say, of course not, why would I feel the need to do that!

Hubby is tired and sore after climbing towers all day in the heat, the kids want to chat and play with him, i want his attention too because i feel the need for adult stimulation (talking that is), but am out of luck because he falls asleep after dinner with his beer in one hand. So at the end of my tiresome day i have come to the conclusion, i have aliens in my house and they wont be returning anywhere soon in their little spaceship because these lovable little aliens are here too stay.

THE HOLIDAYS SO FAR WITH KIDDIES & CHRISTMAS DAY WITH JORDAN

Well as you all should know now we are 6 days into the holidays.
After the Alien episode, things are settling down somewhat. I lost my voice, its coming back now. Everyone is worried because i loose it frequently, but the truth is in February this year i was blessed with the Mumps. (not) Dont know who i got it from, but boy does it make you sick. My immune system shuts down every so often and my voice somewhat turns into a hacksaw. The Specialist told me it can affect the ear, nose, throat for a long time after, especially if i get carried away with Kareoke.
It doesnt help when your run down and also being run ragged with children.

Hubby has been home now for 4 days and told me yesterday he can understand why i will reach for the glass of wine, though it was his turn to reach for his bourbon and block his ears, yell/scream and put up with Jordans mind numbing errrrrr noises which now sounds like a rooster in the morning, except it is all day in our cage. The day has been starting each morning with Jordan turning the CD player on and playing keep on dancing by Gwyn Stefani, and with no pun intended keeps on playing it over and over. Nicolas and Chloe awake and proceed to fight, Nicolas accidently trips over Chloe while she is playing and hurts his knee, then pushes Chloe over and tells me it was an accident......................

Christmas day was a 5.30am start, Santa Claus came and left them with loads of presents even though how many times we had told them we were ringing Santa to tell him not too deliver. The night before we had to laugh at Nicolas's sense of humour because he wanted to leave Santa a Bourbon and coke out for him so he could sleigh drive drunk, hopefully after the time he reaches our house after too many he will fall asleep near the xmas tree so he can awake and meet santa and his reindeers, logic thinking dont you think?

Hubby & I set up the Cabana to cover their new pool and let them swim throughout the morning, while he watched, i cooked xmas lunch to take over to my brothers house. Upon arriving Jordan started crying and telling us he wanted to go to grandmas over and over. I explained to him that Uncle Shane & Aunty Natasha had set up a big jumping castle and pool for them, with this information he got out of the car and ran straight to the back yard, then started crying again telling us he wanted Grandma, and decided he didnt like it outside anymore. I know it was because of all the people outside and found it all too overwhelming. Natasha turned on the computer, hoping this would make him happy. How many times people who didnt understand Jordan's autism, asked me how old he was, telling me he is a small child compared to Nicolas who is younger started to annoy me quietly after explaining Jordan takes after his father & Uncle Shane who was Jordans size at his age, and he was on the the correct scale for his weight and height 7.5 years old, my sister in law then telling me my babies were small comparing them to her two, the thing is people forget Jordan was 4 weeks early weighing 7pounds, Nicolas 5 weeks early weighing 7.5 pounds, had he gone to full term he would have been 9-10 pounds and Chloe was close to 7.5 pounds at 38 weeks, her daughter weighed a little over 6 pounds 4 months ago explain that one.

Not long after the boredom set in and Jordan came out for a while, swam a little and by 6.30pm wanted to go home. We left at 7.00pm to meet some friends back at our house, fired up the BBQ and let the kids swim some more, and finally giving into putting a nappy on Jordan so he could do his pooh that he had held in all day after trying to make him go on the toilet.

All in all it was a busy but nice day, the children were spoilt by everyone. I am still finding room to put all their toys. Today is hubbys last day off before returning back to work so we are on our way today soon to my inlaws house hopefully for another pleasant day chasing kids around.

Take care all and hope you all have a wonderful fulfilled holidays.

WATERMELON, MIGRAINES, MESS AND MAPLE SYRUP

My heading says it all. Yesterday i was sick with a virus. Vomiting, toilet non stop, headache, fevers and looking like i had seen a ghost as hubby put it nicely.
What a productive day the kids had, while i was dying on the couch, in between running to the toilet every 5 minutes.

I started the day giving them their breakfast, after telling them i was not by any means going to cook bacon & eggs for them like i normally do on a Saturday and then hurling at the thought of food.
Out came the crayons, textas, paper, playdoh and videos for them to watch.
I prayed that the textas would not end up on the wall, playdoh mushed into the carpet and crayons cut into tiny pieces once again.

Well i must say non of the above happened because within 10 minutes they decided to do everything but!
While i was in the bathroom once again, Chloe decided to get the watermelon out of the fridge and try to cut it herself with a bread knife, leaving watermelon squashed all over the floor, Jordan decided to climb on a chair and unlocked the pantry cuboard, getting out the maple syrup and leaving a sticky mess everywhere.

After all the mess was cleaned up, i heard Nicolas screaming out to me that Jordan had locked himself in our bedroom because one of the door knobs had fallen off and the pin to turn the handle had fallen out on his side of the door.
Between Jordan getting Hysterical and Nicolas screaming "dont worry Jordan Mummy will save you" i had to pull a door knob off from one of the other bedrooms with the pin to open it, feeling like i was going to pass out, i finally opened the door, and after thinking that mission for the day was over, was to only to find out 1 hour later the same thing had happened again, this time with Nicolas & Jordan locked in the room together, screaming bloody murder and Chloe crying out Muuuummmmmy can you save them?

I looked at the clock again and it was lunchtime and all i could think of was gawwd i have to make them something to eat soon, the thought of food again, made me run to the bathroom and hurl again. After this i felt somewhat better, so decided to make them lunch while i was feeling better momentarily.

After making Nicolas & Chloe ham sandwiches, Jordan vegemite toast, thought i could now try and lay down my weery head on the couch while the kids were watching videos and fell asleep, only to awake what i think was 15 minutes later, to a mess of half eaten sandwiches & toast on the loungeroom floor with the cat eating the ham out of them, and Chloe telling me mum i'm hungry still! mum we're thirsty!

All i could do at this point in time was to ignore them and hope that the little voices i was hearing in my head would go away and forget what they were asking for.
Nicolas was my saviour that day, he helped clean up all the mess and I have promised to give him something special for being such a caring and helpful fellow.

I am also proud to say that Jordan has taken on a 2 new roles also, everytime he would poor himself a drink he would make sure to get 2 other cups out and poor drink into them also (without spilling a drop) for Nicolas and Chloe and leave them on the bench for them and has also decided to help me out by putting any left over food away in the fridge even though it is to go in the bin. I must say we have raised 2 sensitive new age guys.

Chloe throughout the day did keep reminding me of how much she loved me, smothering me with kisses after making such a awful mess with Jordan.

When hubby finally came home from work he did wonder why some of the door knobs were missing and because i was too sick, i couldnt explain to him what had happened. I think all he managed to get out of me was some sort of grunt and i'm going to bed! Love you, Goodnight!

WE ARE IN FOR A VERY LONG HOT & WEIRD SUMMER

This morning i awoke at 6am, feeling cold, then by 7am the temperature was 28 degrees C, blowing hot winds. I hope today is not another day of having to walk around practically naked because our ducted aircon decides it is unable to cope!

This summer so far i must say has been weird, probally due to statistics showing us we are heading into Global warming, i'd say we are already there.
One day it is cold, another warm then goes to extreme heat, blowing out to 43 degrees C. Today is meant to be 36 degrees C.
The children wont be able to swim until later this afternoon, even though we have a cabana covering the pool, the sun still hits certain areas, running the risk of getting burnt, even if we slap on the sunscreen every 15 minutes. They do however still insist to go outside to jump on the trampoline. Left piccy is Nicolas & Chloe just doing that!

Our 2 border collies Jack & Tiger willl have too wait until they can join in the fun, get wet and especially Jack who runs around the pool, thinking he has to save them from drowning.

Jack has proven to be one of the kids best mate, especially Nicolas's, as you can see in the piccy below.

To say the least, Jack came to us almost 2 years ago from an abusive owner. When he came to live with us, he was underweight by 15 kilos, had to have a rotted tooth extracted after his old owner kicked him in the mouth with a steel cap boot and cracked his teeth.
He was locked up in kennels and hosed down constantly. I actually reported them to the RSPCA in the end because after spending so much money on vet bills, the vet told me he would back me up and agreed that with what this dog had endured was horrific!

It has taken Jack 2 years to finally trust my husband enough to come when called and not to piddle all over the floor when he has tried to pat him.
I think this display of behaviour was because Jason reminded him of the man who had done this to him. All in all Jack has never displayed an ounce of aggressiveness towards anyone, he is loyal and will let the person know how he feels if we are play fighting, but has never bitten only growled or jumped up at the person.

I think taking in abused animals must be our way in life, because our other cat Larry, a half persian, came to live with us 5 years ago. He has had most of his teeth taken out because of neglect. He hid behind our couch for the first 4 days and we were told ny his previous owner who couldnt keep him anymore he was scared of new strangers and hated other cats? After settling in he took to my old cat toots and they became the best of friends, when she died he fretted for 2 months, constantly meowing day in, day out looking for her. He is the most affectionate cat and loves to greet new people. Moccha seems to have now filled that void again. He absolutely adores the children, hates my husband though? Yet he is very kind to the animals, he is always the one thinking of them when its stormy weather and pouring with rain, to bring them in and make them a bed to sleep on.

Well hubby right now is whipper snipping and mowing the lawn in this heat, with a sore toe, yuk i dont know how he can do it. The children are screaming amongst oneanother once again, wanting to go outside with dad to watch. The postman has arrived with yet probally another bill, so i think i will wait to collect the mail until later.

Well Jordan has his damn sega game on again, not playing it, just wants to listen to the sound effects on full ball, through the stereo, the same demo song over and over again. Dont know how much longer i can put up with it. lol. Between Gwyn Steffani's music being played over and over, i dont know which is worse.

Larry our cat has just come to the window where i am typing my blog, and what i first thought was a mouse in his mouth, is infact a baby willy wagtail (bird) gross, i just had to push him off the windows edge through the screen, because i do not feel like accepting any of these sorts of little gifts, which some cats like mine seem to think is a lovely gesture.

It was only the other day we saved one that fell from its nest, Jason put it in a box, placed it up in a shaded tree so the mother could look after it, which seemed to be working for 2 days, until we had lots of wind (wind outside that is, not the other. lol), which blew it out of the tree, we then later found him in the garden and he was fine so we left him be because he was starting to fly, later that day we found him dead, other birds had decided to peck him too his death. Willy (as the kids called him) was so close to being able to join his family once again. Jordan was saying "oh no, birdy dead" over and over again.
Jason then dug a little grave for the kids and buried him. Between rabbits, dogs, fish, cats and children we are a very busy family indeed.

Which reminds me our rabbit Fluffy will need his water bowl filled up again soon today, before he dies from heat exhaustion. (lucky he is in a well shaded part of the house outside)

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO

Well Jordan has taken on a new phase in his life and we are at our wits end.
He has started smashing our windows with things and we have 2 bay windows about to fall apart. $500 worth of repairs. When he does it he laughs and seems to like the crash sounds from the window smashing.

We are putting everything out of reach that is sizeable enough for him swing into the windows. He even tried smashing our bedroom mirrors.
Just as we think things are settling down, Jordan always surprises us with his new antics. Yesterday he came home from school and yelled "mummy i am home" this is when i just melt and feel so proud of him.

I want to say also HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our other special guy Nicolas. He turned 6 years old on the 3rd February and lost his first tooth the day before. He is doing so well now he has been placed in a combined class of year 1 and 2 because he is so mature and steaming ahead of his peers. We are so proud of you Nicolas.
We want to tell you all how much we love our beautiful cherubs and without you in our lives it would be empty.

Well if things dont get any worse when it comes to forking out money, my car decided to snap its driving belt last night coming home, i am about to take it in to the mechanics, hopefully this is all it is, gawwwd i am praying. My Magna has served me well since i bought it in 2000 near new and after the airconditioning ran out of gas and we topped it up recently, another thing happens. What will be the third? things come in 3's they say.

So besides smashed windows, cars carking it, cats spewing up all over the carpet and boiling in this hot weather because our ducted aircon in the house needs to be fixed, life is grand and rewarding..................... until then....................

I AM ON SUCH A ROLE TODAY I THOUGHT I WOULD GO PICTURE MAD!

Since i have been on such a blogging obsession for today i though i would share some more pictures of the kids & our family. As earlier on when starting out i was limited with what i could download and because i have recently scanned and downloaded some from my fathers computer, i thought it might help to put faces to the names. Below picture is of myself and my siblings at a party not long ago. From left to right is my brother Shane, my sister Tanya, myself (kiralea the oldest bag out of all), sister Sarah and my brother Jamie. I am happy to say how extremely close the 5 of us are. When we all get together, we have a fantastic time together. Many people comment to us how fantastic it is to see a family like ours have such a close and bonded realtionship, mind you some people like our husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends and wives have said, what weird and warped personalities we all have.

This following picture is of our kids, poppy, grandma and Shane's son Drai taken at poppys 59th birthday, take note just before this picture was taken Sarah decided to change the candles around so in the picture it showed "95".

The next picture is of Chloe and one of my best friends daughter Kiara before we were leaving their house, these two are so georgeous that at times you just want to eat them up (a aussie slang saying smother with kisses).

This photo below is Chloe with her cousin Oliver, (daddys sisters son) 2cuties undeniably true.

Nicolas in this photo below was almost 3 and was the most cutest child (still is) he just matured with his looks.

The next picture was taken of Jordan and Nicolas aged 4.5 & 3, coming out the bedroom looking like they were up too some kind of mischief!

So at the end of all this you can see why i am a very proud mummy and love my family unconditionally!

A DAY IN OUR FAMILY LIFE

Am i looking forward to the school holidays ending?
So far the last couple of days, i have not felt this way believe it or not. I awoke this morning with a headache after making some perculated coffee for hubby & i after drinking a cup it appeared to have made it worse, so after overdosing on some asprin, i am now able to type away to my hearts content, adding to my blogger.

I have come to the conclusion that packing away toys and having to constantly nag the kids to pack away, its not worth the headache. My house is littered with toys and as long as my kitchen is tidy and clean, my floors vacumed i dont care anymore. I have even come to the conclusion it is easier to vacuum around the toys than clean them up because they are all pulled out again within 5 minutes.

The children have a toy room which is my computer room also, yet the toys dont seem to live very long in this room.

Hubby and i have been teaching the kids some french words (hubby speaks some french as his family comes from Mauritious and i have picked it up along the way)
One Jordan has picked up very well is caca-fess, which in slang terms politely means "pooh pooh bum", he says this sometimes when he has a smelly behind. Nicolas likes to say mondur which means "my god" Jasons parents will be proud when they hear this. Chloe dobs them in telling me muuuummmmy Nicolas and Jordan are saying those rude words again!

Jason has had to have 2 days off work because the other night he decided to do some dance moves along with karate kicks and kicked his big toe into the corner of the wall and sliced it open. Ha ya - YOUCH! and is unable to wear his work boots at the moment. Nicolas told me in a gross kind of manner that if daddy wasn't careful maggots might grow out of it. I think he was trying to say "if he gets gangrene in his foot". This photo to the right is of Jordan and one of our favourites. I cannot get over how handsome he looks. I think you all have to agree why poppy calls him his little French Prince. I have to also admit that genes have played a wonderful part in our childrens good looks, not meaning to sound bias or anything.

Well yesterday we all took a trip to the doctors. The surgery was packed with only 3 doctors working and this is a medical centre! What started off having quite children turned into an animal farm. Nicolas and Chloe started to run around screaming with laughter, all this time Jordan making his errr noises at a 100 decibals, people looking and staring and squinting at the sound. After telling Nicolas and Chloe to be quiet and sit down, Jordan had made his way into the x-ray department through the receptionists desk, only realising after, when a doctor brought him back out to the waiting area.

Jordan then decided he had waited enough and proceeded to scream and carry on, pulling blinds up, knocking someone in the head with them. I am glad this guy was fine about it after i apologised. Jason decided to take him for a walk outside and when they came back Jordan would not settle. I decided to get a book for him to read to me, and this kept him quiet for 10 minutes, though his attention span was everywhere, he did extremely well, considering i had to keep re-directing him to his book. By now we had waited for 1 hour and had about 6 people in front of us, Nicolas and Chloe winging they were thirsty and hungry, well it was lunchtime.

I think the recepionists decided to put us next on the list, because by now Jordan was carrying on so much, we did get a few looks from people who had been waiting a lot longer than we had, Oh well i thought it was either that or they would have to put up with Jordans screaming and let their health slowly decline!
A lot of people do look at Jordan as though he is just a naughty child because he looks so normal, yet if there was more awareness about Autism, a lot more people would be able to pick up that there infact, is something wrong with our son.

Well i finally found out why my weight is always up and down, it has nothing to do with what i eat because in general i do eat quite healthy, mind you i used to be a size 8 when i met Jason, and when i started gaining weight, i had by then, surgery for a number of things when i was diagnosed with PCOS.

I have suffered from Poly Cystic ovaries for years, along with a underactive thyroid which i take meds for, though my dose has to be increased. My blood results showed i have high levels of insulin caused by my PCOS, even though i have cut down my carb intake, the doctor told me no matter how much i excercise or diet, it will be 10 times harder to loose the weight. The medication i was on before for 2 months only showed i had lost 3 kilos, yet most people will loose 8-10 kilos by now.

He has now suggested i have gastric banding surgery done by keyhole, which will also help the amount of insulin released into my blood which then turns to fat cells and the amount of food i eat. He explained that PCOS sufferers have a slow metabolism, thus making you more hungry. I dont understand that bit because i dont eat any more than the average person. I have had my gall bladder taken out and i know drinking white wine doesnt help either.

I will now have to go on a waiting list for about a year with private health insurance and he feels this will be the answer to my weight loss.
Fingers crossed. Tomorrow i will have another blood test to check my glucose levels etc. I am so glad hubby was with me because this gave him a better understanding of why my weight is up and down after years of trying to explain this to him.
Sorry to blab on about myself, after all this blog is meant to be about Jordan and our other 2 children.

IT HAS BEEN A WHILE BLOGGING

(the photo on the right is my friends children Amber & Chloe that i will talk about in this blog page)

Well, well, well. I have finally made time for respite with updating my blog page.
I was speaking to one of my old school friends Vanessa the other day and she told me she checks my blog every day and when i told her i had not updated for a while Vanessa informed me the last time i did was the 24th March. Gosh i didnt even realise this, so i am glad Vanessa can keep me up to date.

Vanessa informed me that she is really involved reading all the blogs i listed on my web page some time ago and informed me she loves reading all your individual stories. So Vanessa when you read this, thanks for your support and understanding what it is like raising a special needs child. Vanessa and i go way back to everyone reading this as we attended high school together.

I have taken this moment to reminisce and write about our school days together and what our group of friends got up too. We used to at lunch time smoke under the portable classrooms. we would climb as far back as we could and puff away, until one day we got caught by the playground teacher, telling us my nose followed me here. Yet we got away with this for months.

We also wagged school, got into trouble, tease the teachers and pass notes to oneanother during class. This seemed to happen a lot when we were being bitches to one another. Gawwwwd i remember all the jealousy that surrounded our little group.

We were both Horse riders and Vanessa used to come over and put my horse Shiloh into place when he was misbehaving, also one day taking her for a ride through the bushes to try and get her off his back. The thing is Vanessa and one other friend were the only people who could ride my horse because he allowed them too.

Vanessa, katie and I used to go into the shopping centre staircases and because it echoed we would sing our lungs out, one of the songs i remember we used to sing was "we are the children" and i used to sing the part of Cyndi Lauper.
I also remember after school Vanessa would be starving hungry and wanted Mcdonalds and because we had no money I would go to the counter and tell the person serving that i had order 3 cheesburgers and only recieved 1.
We would then get the 2 for free. he he, how naughty.

Gosh those were the days, hanging out at the station with all the Normanhurst boys, smoking ciggarettes and getting into mischief. That is how i got caught smoking from my parents, because they drove past Normanhurst Station and saw me with Vanessa & Kirrily Ifield (my best friend today) out the front of the milkbar . I got into was so much trouble.

My parents tell me now, even though i was such a rebellious child, i turned out ok.
Well i suspose we all turned fine, Vanessa and i are proud parents of wonderful kids so life couldnt get any better than this.

I have decided to show some photos of Vanessa & Peters (hubby) children so i hope she doesnt mind showing her little fairies off and putting a name to the faces at te beginning of my blogger page.



Until next blog, take care all
Arevoir
Kiralea

I AM BEGINNING TO HATE THE WORD MUM

MUM, MUMMY, MOTHER! Usually when babies start talking, their first words are dadda, then comes mumma. The word mummy comes next and they never stop saying this throughout the day.

Every 5 minutes today so far has been mum, mummy i'm hungry, (yes they have been recently wormed again)
Mum i'm thirsty (well it is a hot day), mum Nicolas wont let me play the computer game, mum Nicolas isnt sharing, mum Nicolas pushed me, mum can you please wipe my bum i've done a big pooh in the toilet, mum the cat scratched me (stop tormenting it), mum Nicolas wiped finger paint all over my back, mum Jordan is playing with his willy again, mum Nicolas is breaking my pram and killing my dolly! Mum can we have a iceblock.
Mum can we go for a swim, no its too hot outside to be in the sun (for the umpteenth time), mum can we jump on the trampoline, mum Nicolas threw my pram down the stairs. MUMMMMY whens genevieve and the kids coming (their cousins) over today (50th time answered = this afternoon).

Mummy what are you doing? i am cleaning up this mess you all made.
Ahhh peace for the moment, i have given them a iceblock and some crayons to draw with. Too be honest Jordan is easier to deal with at times than the other two put together. Mummy where are we going? (this is because some days i live in my pyjamas) and I am just getting changed.

We so far today have played shops with the cash register and Chloe has made a cake out of playdoh to sell to me, very imaginative indeed, i am so mentally tired that my play imagination with them has somewhat disappeared from my brain. We have made lovely bracelets and necklaces and Jordan is parading around with them on, doing his strike a pose look. He likes to wear them more than Chloe does.

I love the sound of mummy coming from their sweet lips when they all tell me how much they love me. I love the sound of mummy when they offer to help clean up their mess. I love the sound of mummy when Nicolas offers to make me a cup of tea ( with some help of course) I love the sound of mummy when Nicolas tells me he has given Jordan the game to play with because he is a special boy. I love the sound of mummy when Chloe & Nicolas tell me i look beautiful today.

Today is another ordinary day, so in a way i am beginning to hate the word mum when all it is complaining about oneanother. But at the end of the day i am their only mummy and this is what being a mum is all about.
All in all i love being their mum.

BACK TO SCHOOL SOON, THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER

Hi all, i have not written on my blog for a while, thats because we all went away for a week to Hawks Nest to visit my best friend Kirrily whom i've known since we were 12 years old and the kids absolutely adore and call her Aunty Kirrily.
We only arrived back 4 days ago and i have been unwinding, looking for work etc etc etc. My friend lives 5 minutes away from the beach, so the children had heaps of fun swimming and running amok. I am yet to get their photos developed and post them on my blog.

I am yet to catch up with reading everyones elses blogs, so please forgive me if i have not yet commented.

We travelled to Forster one day which is another 1 hour up the coast and found this wonderful beach area surrounded by rocks and was like a pool with the waves coming over the top of the rocks like a waterfall, it was fantastic. Jordan swam so well, driving us crazy with his errrr noises from all the excitement.
Chloe and Nicolas enjoyed making sand castles while dad swam with Jordan.

Jordan is so excited to be going back to school on Tuesday, he keeps asking wheres the bus for school. We cant believe Chloe starts school next year, she is growing up so fast and Nicolas is in first grade this year.
The house is in dissaray, everytime we clean, its a mess within 5 minutes again.
I am looking forward for the kids to return to school so i can catch up on things i cannot get done at the moment.

Jordans noises seem to be getting worse again, even though we cut his suger intake down, he wont go to sleep until 11.30pm at night, then awakes at 7.00am, gawwwd we are still trying to catch up on our sleep. I will buy some Melatonin this week, so we can get him back into a routine of bed early. Jason thinks his noises are getting worse as hes getting older, and is appearing to be more so in a world of his own, so i think returning to school is going to be good for him. He needs so much mental stimulation.

He went ballistic on me the other day while we were away, i took him to the local shopping centre which was very busy and in Big W, he saw this blow up Dragon for the pool and decided he had to have it. I did not give in but boy was he distressed.
The tears were streaming down his face, people looking and staring and i just about burst into tears myself, because when he gets like this he will go on for an hour and i feel so sad for him. I wish i could jump into his little head for one day and find out what is going on in there. I feel so helpless.

I have been making a point of taking him out with me whenever i go shopping too get him used to the world around him. He is getting a little better, but insists i get a trolley for him to sit in even though i do not need one. God help me when hes too big for the trolley. When i dont give in he just screams trolley, trolley over and over again through the shops. I have noticed he has these new obsessions or routines.
Every morning when he has breakfast he has to have the same blue bowl and spoon.
The same music is played over and over, his pillowslip has to be the same and can be a fight when i take it off to wash.

Jordan has become very verbal than before, he has been saying "good morning mum" whats for breakfast? He was in the shops the other day and dropped my keys and said "oh god sorry mum, i dropped them" everytime he does something he says sorry mum, that was naughty. I am so glad he is verbalising with sentences that make sense to why he is saying it, if you all know what i mean?

He still does the echolalia when we say certain things, but this seems to diminishing now and doesnt do it as often.
My friend Kirrily, is awe struck by his achievements and so proud of him. He interacted very well with her when we were away, and loved cuddling up to her, which he will not do with many people. Kirrily told me she feels a connection with Jordan and i think honestly he does too.

He really got upset the other day when Chloe draw on the walls at her house and she blamed Jordan, Kirrily said to him "Jordan that was very naughty" and he proceeded to scream and cry " i didnt do it" Chloe did it over and over.

We were all shocked because Nicolas told us he saw Chloe do it and this was the first time Jordan had actually verbally stuck up for himself. God i was so proud of him. It took him 1/2 hour to calm down, with all of us telling him it was ok, your not in trouble. He wouldnt let my friend Kirrily come near him for a while, as she was apologising to him and trying to cuddle him, because he was so upset he told her to "piss off". Boy talk about too verbal! I had to tell her to leave him alone for a while as he will calm down, the more she tried to apologise the worse he got.
I am the only person who he will respond to when he is too upset to a point, even dad cant calm him down like i can, so yeah i feel pretty special!

Anyway i am feeling much better after our holiday, the prozac is working wonders for me and feeling somewhat normalised again.
Hubby has had time to unwind again so things on the homefront are wonderful.
Jordan has decided to pull all our tapes apart and hubby is having a heart attack, so i better finish this post and return to reality......MAYHEM!

OUR DAUGHTER CHLOE

Lately i had been noticing Chloe who was born with a rare genetic disorder called Incontentia Pigmenti, who has to have yearly eye check ups to test for Retina detachment, her right eye had started turning inward when focusing, bumping into objects and complaining she feels sick.

I rang her eye specialist to see if i could get in immediately after explaining our concerns, which he agreed to see her straight away.

Well we went to the doctor yesterday and we found her struggling to see out of her right eye when her left was covered. After Dr Hing put the drops in and was checked later, said she showed no signs of Retina detachment which would require surgery, but she was slightly blind in that eye.

We went out after and bought her glasses which she picks up next week. She will need to wear them all the time except when shes asleep. Apparently the prescription is very strong and the lenses will be quite thick so the optometrist will try to grind them thinly as possible. She was excited when she was fitted with some barbie glasses and matching pink case. I hope with the finished product she will not get too upset because they will look different on her.

My mother seemed very upset and rang me last night to see if i was ok and not depressed and probaly hitting the bottle which i can honestly say i didnt and felt fine.

Time will tell but i am sure we will have a little fight on our hands to make her wear them. We are to return to her Dr in 3 months to see if the eye has started working again and recorrecting with the glasses, if not her left eye will be patched 24/7 to make her use her right eye. If this does not work surgery will be an option.

I feel so helpless and sorry for her, because this explains her grumpy behaviour lately. She has been through enough which has left scars on her body and her teeth are horrible, they are gaped and look like sharks teeth, which she will need dental cosmetic surgery for later.

The cost of all this has so far been a lot and we are sure we will have to dig deep into our pockets over the forthcoming years.

Anyway we have our fingers crossed for her, afterall they are only glasses and are in fashion now, and only hope her eye gets better and doesnt go completely blind.

So yes, yesterday was a extremely busy day and besides all that everything is great with Jordan and Nicolas.

Take care all to next time.....

Arevoir Kiralea

A POEM FOR JORDAN

Twinkle, Twinkel little star

Our love for you, stretches to the oceans afar.

You are our sunshine, and so many challenges await you,

I wish for just one day to walk in your shoes.

When you came along, our lives felt complete,

little did we know, you would have to at times take the back seat.

I want to shelter you, wrap you up in soft cotton wool,

Anyone who doesnt want to understand you, are just a fool.

Your brother and sister love you so so so very much

and i know at times are confused because you dont always like to be touched.

I look at you with pride on each new day

i could never imagine life without you, if you were ever taken away.

Jordan you are our life, so precious and a bundle of joy,

that is why dad nicknamed you our little Jordy boy,

While ever i breath in this world,

my fight for your rights in this world will be heard.

My words to you son, which you may not now understand,

that we have your whole life mapped out and planned.

We all love you, along with your siblings Nicolas and Chloe

and when you turn 18, we will crack open that Moet.

Written by your mother Kiralea Powell

who thinks you are her whole life along with Nicolas, Chloe and daddy Jason.

ITS BEEN A WHILE BLOGGING

Hi everyone, its been a while. My life has been in the fast lane for the last 2 weeks.

Kids go back to School next Tuesday after having 2 weeks of school holidays.

Last Saturday we had Chloes 4th Birthday Party and had a lady dressed as a fairy to keep all the kids entertained. They all dressed up as little fairies themselves and had a wonderful time.

It was great catching up again with 2 of my good school friends that i hadnt seen in a while.

Vanessa and her 2 girls came along with her best friend Katie and it was a blast catching up with both laughing at all our antics from school days.

All the children were so well behaved and the Fairy lady was an absolute hit with all the kids including the boys.

I am yet to get some photos and publish them so stay tuned.

Jordan hmmm. He is going through a stage where he has absolute melt downs.

It is so hard to comprehend what is going on in that little brain of his. He now plays with himself to take away the feeling to pooh. I am at my wits end. He wont pooh in his nappy unless he is absolutely busting and wont use the toilet again.

I have tried rewards, everything. I cant stand watching him lean against the wall and trying to take his mind off poohing.

He does it in the shopping centre as well, and yes it is embarressing but i always tell people he is Autistic when they stare and comment.

Nicolas and Chloe are at their Aunty Sarahs tonite, because she is babysitting her best friends son and Nicolas and Ben are great mates. I decided to have Jordan stay at home with us so we could give him our time with him. I am tossing up whether to go bowling with him and Jason tonite or just myself and Jordan, because Jason has hurt his knee and it is killing him. He had to leave work a little earlier today because of the pain.

Well it is quite at the moment, Jordan is playing his favourite songs on the stereo and for once he is not blasting it through the house. My patience and firmness is finally paying off.

My husband had an absolute shocker 2 weeks ago. He left Chloes glasses on top of the car while strapping them in and drove off with them still on the roof.

I had to order a new pair the other day and well, there goes another $300 bucks, this time she went for a pair of electric blue ones.

Nicolas has been so well behaved lately, he cant stop telling me how much he loves me and cant get enough kisses and cuddles, also Chloe was the same cuddly pleasant little being for once and had a calm day today, i know it was due to the fact i spent precious time with them today, drawing and watching movies with them, which i normally struggle to do because i am so tired after work and all and sometimes become so selfish its unbearable to realise at times.

Jordan enjoyed his time with me also, watching contently Charlie and the Chocolate factory and having his back and arms tickled endlessly, which he then nodded off for a 1 hour nap.

It was nice being curled up on the couch with the children, with our doona, pillows and all snuggled up together. It was a day i truly enjoyed with the kids and i know they enjoyed as well.

I managed to get some house work done, cook dinner early and now i can sit and blog for a while.

Nicolas and Chloe have been sick with a cold and have recovered. Chloe's temp went up to 41 degrees the other day, which obviously happened suddenly, because she had a seizure. Lucky i was sitting next to her when she did. I hate it when this happens because her eyes rolled back and was seizing. I promptly undressed her, picked her up and put her in a tepid shower, which she came round to, quickly after, giving her a dose of Neurofen.

take care all

arevoir Kiralea

JUST ANOTHER UPDATE

Oh my goodness. I am about to just wither away and disappear.

The school holidays have just started and i am feeling it already.

The kids have 2 friends that live 2 doors away and are here constantly fighting, so i have been babysitting for 5. They come here almost everyday. lol. I must say Jason comments of an afternoon when i arrive home from work that our adopted kids are here!

Nicolas and Anthony fight constantly. I am sick of hearing excuse me, mum, mummy blah blah blah.

Bianca and Chloe get on wonderfully though when Bianca isnt here Chloe seems bored and moody. It is nice to see her interacting with someone her own age (2 years apart), who is another female as Chloe does not have a little sister to interact with.

Jordan lost his first front tooth today and was absolutely distressed because it was bleeding, though once it was cleaned up he calmed down again. I think he blood scared him the most. Jordan has been absolutely uptight lately.

He screams, bangs walls, opens and closes the dishwasher with a bang etc etc etc.

Last week we had 5 other kids over who are his cousins and he went ballistic.

I have realised this is due to the noise and being crowded in his own home.

He calmed down eventually and just wanted to sit in our room watching TV.
He cannot at times stand crowds even it is within an environment with regular family members. I feel its a sensory issue.

Well the kids are still jumping on the trampoline and i am about to send our adopted children home because it is gettting dark and its 5.30pm and speak of the devil, their mother came over and requested them home anyway.

Jason has finally came home from work and i am breathing a sigh of relief.

I have had it today and look forward when the kids go to bed so hubby and I can catch up and spend some much needed time together, whether it is talking or going to bed!!!! he he he, Whoooooo, grrrrrrrrrrr.

until next time

Arevour

Kiralea

WHAT A WEEK ITS BEEN SO FAR

I have finally got a picture of Chloe to show everybody how cute she looks with her new glasses as promised.

Believe me she looks cute but is an absolute loud mouth when she wants to be. Girls can be so nasty! Yet she can be an angel and is always telling me how much she loves me and how pretty i look when i am going to work. AWWWW.

I have been so busy lately working. Thank god hubby is a gem. He makes sure dinner is prepared, house is somewhat tidy, well the best you can do with 3 little animals running through the house in destruction mode.

Hubby has just started some work with my brother at night painting and getting paid a fantastic hourly rate. He starts his new project in mid April, so my brother has work to tie Jason over until then. Its been hard because jason works from 6pm to 6am, hes coming home and i am rushing out the door to work myself. I have managed to fit a routine into place, making sure kids have had brekky and lunches made so all he has to do is put Jordan on the bus and drop Nicolas at school and Chloe at mums up the road, so he can sleep the day through.

He told me he was missing me and the kids of a night and i must say i am missing him and our little chats of an evening when the kids are in bed.

Well the last week was a nightmare, Jordan caught a vomiting bug and kept us up all night. I am so proud of him because he would run to the toilet when he had to be sick rather than vomit wherever he may be at that time. Nicolas then was sent home after harking everywhere in the playground and had to tell us how big the pile was and how he spewed Carrots and Tomatoes that he had eaten at lunch time. Kids dont miss a thing.

I then got it and had 2 days off work. Poor jason was up and down the stairs checking on me after i passed out in the shower, lucky i was sitting up and not standing.

He made me chicken noodle soup throughout the day, kept the liquids coming so i am eternally grateful i have such a kind/loving hubby who loves me the way he does.

Well i have a 4 day break every fortnight so i am enjoying the time at home to catch up on things that i normally do not have time to do, and i will tell you after yesterday at work i am glad i have a few days off. Talk about stressful. The payroll had been finished on Wednesday and on Thursday we recieved all these calls from people who had not been paid because the people who are in charge of giving us the timesheets didnt check their emails. So we were rushing to do all these manual pays for people before i left at the end of the day, on top of that copping very angry calls from our employees.

Well we are battling to get Jordan too do his poohs on the toilet, i am getting sick of changing nappies, he is almost 8 and we are getting worried because he just seems so scared of going to the toilet. I came to the conclusion why........ I think he is scared we will leave him sitting on the toilet so when hes finished he doesnt know how to communicate properly enough to tell us he is finished. I have tried telling him i am not going anywhere, but it has been a up hill battle.

He did it once after i spent an hour with him, but he still wont grasp the idea that it should be on the toilet and not in his nappy.

Well that is my update for the week and i must move on to other things so until next time......

Arevoir

Kiralea

MY NEED TO VENT TODAY

Well i need to winge today. Last week we had a inspection in our house from the real estate we rent from and recieved our periodic inspection letter today.

Because i had told them we had 2 broken windows which Jordan did, they turned up with the owner, the manager with a camera and the Property Manager and stayed for 45 minutes. We were never told about the camera or the owner coming.

Besides the broken windows they winged about our oven and bathrooms not being clean enough, tried to tell us a oyster light was broken when infact it wasnt it had just had its lightbulb changed and needed to put back on the cover.

They then winged about the airconditioning filter saying it was dirty when in fact it had been cleaned 2 days prior, i remember when we moved in the owner came out to look at the aircon because it wasn't producing cold air, which the owner had to vacuum the filter out which was thick with dust.

They went on about the carpets which we cleaned 2 days prior and i have made it very clear the carpet is about 10 years old and its been fair wear and tear. I had to laugh because the pictures given to us showed a cream clean carpet.

They then went on about the garden beds, which are 10 times better than what they were when we moved in, told us weeds were growing out of the driveway, when we had a look we couldnt see any and i emailed telling them they must have been smoking weed that day because there is none.

They then winged about a bathroom fly screen saying we had broken it, when infact it was broken when we moved in, which i told them unless our son had been doing Bat Man impersonations off the roof, this is maybe how it happened.

They said the walls wernt clean enough which we complained about before we moved in how filthy they were and were told because we had kids they didnt clean them. We have scrubbed these walls from day one, its in need of a new paint job.

They then to top it off were caught going through our cupboards. This really pissed me off to no end and told them under no uncertain terms is it their business how we live, as long as the oven, walls, bathrooms etc are cleaned and left the way they were when we moved in after we move out only then they need to worry about this.

The owner winged about the kids pool in the yard because she was worried about the grass underneath. For gods sake that is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard, the bloody grass will grow back once we pull the pool down.

Real Estates are a pain in the rear, i know they look out for the owner, but we pay $365 per week with airconditioning that doesnt work properly because there is no insulation in the roof and we have just got a massive electricity bill $2500.00 for 5 months. We asked them about this since last November and was told the motor is not equipped for the size of this house and also because of the insulation problem.

We are struggling to pay this off as well. Imagine Winter, gawwwd we are going to freeze our tits off, because of no insulation in the roof,we cant afford to have the heating running.

Anyway i needed to winge, i was so angry that infact i was shaking when i sent my email to them.

JUST ANOTHER UPDATE

Friday we went to visit jordans teacher for the latest on his developments.

He is doing extremely well, but struggling with his subtractions and needs more practice using scissors and colouring in.

He has made a new friend called David and they seem to like spending time together, which is great to hear because of Jordans poor social skills.

I have started working on Jordans subtractions, using my fingers to take away 5 minus 3 until i buy some pegs or something for him.

I ask him what is 5 minus 3 and he repeats what i say or answers 8 as an addition. So we have a bit of work to do with him.

Besides this he is doing academically well. Social skills need more work so i will keep on taking him out more often into society.

His teachers are so dedicated to him which is wonderful, and is one of the most thankless jobs in the world.

Mrs Cooksley who helped teach Jordan for 3 years has unfortunately moved on and we think he is missing her a great deal.

She came to his class the other day and put her lips to the window at Jordan and he came up and did the same thing back, as his teacher Joan said we think there is something going on here....lol... because Mrs Cooksley was the one who liked to cook him raisin toast for morning tea and poor Joan feels like the Ogar!

Jordan loves to sit outside and have his cup of tea which his teachers make for him, so he is very spoilt and lucky indeed to have such caring teachers who enjoy teaching our little Jordy boy.

Jordan has taken up a new hobby and that is to watch the weather channel on Foxtel and blares the music out of the stereo. I must say it is very calming music so we can handle this.

Well Chloe got her new glasses on Thursday and looks absolutely adorable.

She likes to wear them and tells us she can see better which is great news.

I will post a picture soon with her wearing them.

We struggled at first because she kept complaining of a headache but this is normal while she starts adjusting to them.

Chloe has had many compliments from people in the shopping centre and Jordans teacher even noticed and commented.

Well i finally went and got my blood results and my Lupus is flaring up again which explains all my aches and pains in my joints. My kidneys are looking not that great so i have had to book into a kidney specialist, and getting a ultrasound on Monday and also a rheumatologist for my Lupus.

This explains my high blood pressure probaly as it was 150/105 the other day so my doctor prescribed me another medication to take along with my Tritace which is already the max dose at 10mg.

I have bought a Liver detox pack as my liver was looking a little shoddy as well. Even though i have stopped drinking for a while i still need to look after myself.

So this all the latest news i have and will keep you all updated.

To everyone who has commented on my blog thanks again for all your support and kind words, until next time.....

Arevoir

Kiralea

CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE....... WHAT ABOUT THE PARENTS FUTURE OF SANITY

I just had to type this heading.... Its true my future will be fulfilled only if my sanity prevails. Children, children, children i say this 3 times because we have 3 little monsters living in our home existance at the moment.

I was given the option to go home early on Friday from work because my bosses car broke down on her way to work and i had finished all my payroll that had to be done.

I went home early so i could catch up on some much needed house work.

Well i spent from 11.00am until 3pm cleaning the kids toyroom, which is our computer room also, and boxing everything.

Changed our bedsheets, washed some clothes, gave my 2 border collies some much needed attention, cooked the dinner, organised Jordans bus driver to drop him home instead at Grandmas, picked Chloe up from mums, made lunch, vacuumed the floors, mopped floors, changed cat litter, picked up dog pooh, got a call from Nicolas's school saying he was sick so had to pick him up. Got Nicolas home and he didnt appear that sick at all.

I sat down finally at 3pm with a coffee, when shortly after Jordans bus arrived home.

Jordan was in a happy mood, until he couldnt find all the Cd's in the case that i had hidden away, because he will blare gwyn steffani again... Keep on dancing!, line the rest up and scratch them along the wall. When i wouldnt give in he changed the foxtel channel onto the music channel and proceeded to pump it through the stereo. ARRRRRG, guess which song came on...thats right Keep on dancing! He was so happy and proceeded to spin with his pillow.

Nicolas and Chloe proceeded to fight most of the afternoon. Chloe screaming, Nicolas wanting to play his computer game, with Jordan trying to take over, which ended up as a battle of the games. Finally things quietened down.

When Jordan wants something, it has to be right now!

When Nicolas wants something its "i hate you" if he doesnt get it!

If Chloe wants something i get "you meany"!

Saturday came and went, hubby and i went out for lunch for 2 hours, then came home to reality again.

Sunday today has been a headache, Nicolas and Chloe screaming at one another, Jordan smashing eggs on the bench, laughing and saying smash the eggs. Yeah great mummy has to clean up after his game of "smash the eggs on the bench"

I must say i think this is rather funny coming from our Jordy boy, on Thursday morning i was telling my husband I had a appointment for Jordan next Friday with his teacher and he piped up "yeah to sort my issues out" Jason & couldnt stop laughing. What a outburst.

Well today looks like a triple tornado has riped through our loungeroom and kitchen.

I have so far had 3 cups of coffee and feeling rather jittery, so i will quit for the day.

Jordan is playing simpsons through the stereo again on max. Nicolas and Chloe are

screaming at one another and let me tell you our daughter has a fog horn and a half on her. Dad and Nicolas has been bonding all morning, playing their game on the computer. It was a fight to even get my computer back.

Chloe has pulled all the wipes out of the packet, Jordan wants Just right for lunch, Nicolas, well keeps nagging me to get off the computer so he can play his new game, i only have got on after waiting 3 hours for it, with the same answer we will be off in 1/2 hr. I curse the day Jason bought this game for Nicolas (apparently) lol.

Well so far my day is mayday....i need a breather and some help with my sanity.

To all the parents out their with one or two children, take my advice stop now unless you are lucky enough to blessed with absolute angels. I think i must have sinned in my life because at the moment i feel like i am not blessed with angels, but monsters.

On another note my friend Tina has set up her blogger for her son Jayden, who also lives in rural Australia. Its great to have another aussie person blogging on these pages. Her blog is called Jaydens life outside the box http://jaydenrose.blogspot.com

When you can please have a look and hopefully Tina and her family can recieve the same wonderful support and friends that i have encountered.

Take care all

Arevoir

Kiralea

I AM SO EXCITED I AM BACK ON LINE

I am so excited to be back on line again. I just red my emails and had 50 odd in my inbox. I have set up a support group on MSN called Mums and dads with Autistic children. I have only got 2 members so far so i thought i would let you all know you are all welcome to join. The address is: http://groups.msn.com/MumsDadswithAutisticChildrenSupportGroup

I would love to build up a sizeable community so we can all start sharing stories and advice to one another. Lora joined a while ago and i have another member who has just joined named Tina. She lives in Tamworth NSW Australia which is quite a isolated area.

Its great to have her on board, Tina will be setting up a blogger for her son Jayden so i will let you all know when its started. Tina and her hubby Ben are basically new to the transitions of Autism so with all our support, we will be able to hopefully make new friends, provide advice and a shoulder to lean on along with having a lot of fun.

Well i must say my letter to our local politician who works with John Howard payed off. I hoped she red my blogger because i sent the details as well. I have been contacted by email to set up an appointment for a face to face chat. I also wrote to the local paper and they sent me a email to confirm they will be publishing my letter. I am yet to find out when?

Yes i am so excited........ I want to be heard, listened to and fight for our sons and everyone elses children who are served with a life sentence called...AUTISM. I want justice and it will prevail one way or another because funding is so inadequate within this area and the frustrations we as parents have to endure raising our children.

Well everyone is going fine. Nicolas just informed me they found a frog in our pool, probaly breeding tadpoles so hubby has let the little one go and cleaning out the pool so the kids can swim in it again.

It is very hot today so we had to put our dogs in the garage where its cooler, being long haired border collies they can get very hot.

Jordan went to the bank with me this morning and typed in our pin number etc, which he then thought he was ants pants. I hope he doesnt repeat our pin number to anyone lol, he has a memory like an elephant, not that we have thousands of dollars anyway. Our kitten Mocha has taken up a new human role and thats peeing in the toilet. I couldnt believe it. He sits sideways and piddles into the toilet. I cant wait to get a picture, its so funny. This cat is so human and just follows me everywhere. I think he thinks i am his mother.

Well its great to back on track and thanks to all my blogging friends who make me feel missed and wanted and give me so much support. Its such a nice feeling to recieve emails to hear how i am being missed. I missed everyone as well.

Take care everyone, until then.....................

Kiralea

LIFE SO FAR

Well i am missing my computer and getting withdrawals.

I am updating my blog from work in my lunch break so its great i am allowed access to the internet.

I have been proudly showing off my 3 angels to my collegues and been told what georgeous children we have, especially Jordan. I am very proud indeed.

I am loving my new job, the people here are wonderful & warm.

I work with quadraplegics and paraplegics and they are so inspiring and make you realise how lucky we have it.

Jordan is settling down again. We went out to a birthday party last Sunday at a park near the water and he was so well behaved. He sat quietly all day with people and ate chips & fairy bread. I took him for walks to the water and i cannot believe how well he adjusted with all the people around.

Maybe because it was outside in a large environment rather than a backyard where he is confined in a large crowd-this is why.

He cuddled up with his Gra Gra (jasons mum) which is unusual for him to do this with anyone except myself or Jason, and sat quietly, i thought he was getting sick because he sat with me throughout the day and wanted me to carry him everywhere.

Nicolas & Chloe were really well behaved also, and for once we had a day out with the children not stressing and having to constantly worry about Jordan taking off on us.

Jordan is doing very well at school with his maths i have been told and enjoying being back at school. Nicolas is getting better with his reading, though he is home today with Grandma & Chloe because he is a little unwell with a cold.

Thank god for my mum, she is a saint. Not many people can return to work and rely on Grandma. Jordans bus picks him up in the mornings and dropped off in the afternoons from grandmas so that is lucky, because i start at 8am and finish at 4pm.

Nicolas attends OOSH (morning/after school care) which has worked out great.

Anyway take care all reading and hopefully i will be able to be in contact with my wonderful friends i have made with my blogger.

Until then Arevoir

Kiralea

HELLO AGAIN FROM DOWN UNDER

Hi all, sorry i have not replied to anyones emails or posts.
My computer is down and i am updating my blog from my parents house. So please Lora or Peggy Lou if i have not responded, please forgive me, i hope all is well with you both and everyone else.

Thanks to everyones kind words of support and encouragement. It uplifts ones spirits when you know you have people 100% behind you.

I just have to let you know I was offered a job and i start on Tuesday for a company who deal with paraplegics.
I am in charge of doing the payroll so everyone wish me luck, its been a while since i have worked. It is only 4 days a week with alternating Monday & Fridays off so i will have a long weekend every weekend.

Hubby started his new job today at a plumbing company so all is looking bright again. The children are thriving at school and just Chloe and me are taking our time.

Miss chatting to you all. Hope to be back on line again soon, until then take care all
Arevoir, Kiralea

I AM MISSING THEM ALREADY!

Well school went back today, our 2 little men got up early this morning with no fights to wake them up and get ready for school, considering they went to bed at 10.30pm last night. Hopefully this afternoon they will be tired enough to go to bed early and get into a proper routine again.

Nicolas was excited to get ready, and wouldn't stop nagging us this morning to drop him off at school. He was so proud to be starting year 1 this year.
Jordan scoffed his breakfast and cup of tea, raced down the driveway to his bus, almost tripping over and face planting because our driveway is so steep.

The kids on the bus were blowing kisses at Jason and I as they drove off and yelling hello to Jordan as he jumped on. His grin was from ear to ear, waving at the bus driver and his assistant, telling them "school today".
I have to say, i miss them both already and its only been 1.5 hours since they went.

Well its daddy, me and Chloe now, until Jason returns to work, There will be no excuse not to get the house work done now! drats.......
Hubby has decided this early morning start has made him want to lay down on the couch and watch the simpsons without interruptions from Jordan turning the volume up and down, switching channels and playing music at a 100 decibals, Nicolas chattering non stop and fighting with Chloe.

Chloe is quietly playing with the cat and making playdoh cakes on a plate for her dolls so things are so damn quiet. I cant even hear the TV.
I have been applying for jobs so hopefully i will get an interview soon. I am looking forward to returning to work and using my skills again, mind you also the mental stimulation that comes with working.

I was thinking about returning to vet nursing, but decided it doesnt pay enough, so i will go back to the office where i know i can get paid much more. I think i will leave my vet nursing skills for my animals at home. I need a good paid job because our border collie Jack has started limping, and i think it may be hip dysplasia or the start of Arthritis.

Our kitten Moccha is due for his vaccinations and am to yet get him microchipped and tossing up whether to desex him or not, because my mother wants to breed him with her cats who are Himalayan Persian as well. I am hoping he wont start spraying as tom cats do because he stays inside, being 7 months old now, he has started to show an interest in the female species. So far so good.

Gawwwd i am not looking forward to the vet bills! but they are our family so i will endeavour to get all this seen to soon.

My parents are away for another week, and i am missing them as well. They took off to Fraser Island near QLD with my sister Sarah, brother Jamie and his girlfriend Beth.
I usually speak to my parents every day, so i am starting to get withdrawals.
My brother and sister normally ring me every 3rd day so i am missing their chats also.

Which reminds me i better ring my other beloved sister and see how she is. She has been suffering from depression the last few weeks and had to start on some anti depressants also caused by a number of things. She is on 2 weeks annual leave at the moment, and getting some much deserved rest, peace and quiet.

Well i suppose i better catch up on some housework. yuk... ring my sister and prepare for the children to return home from their first day back at school.

JUST ANOTHER UPDATE FROM OUR END OF THE WORLD

I have just recieved an email from Lora, who has encouraged me to write about myself again, regarding depression and bi-polar amongst other things. Earlier on near the beginning of my blog when i first started out, i wrote all about myself growing up etc, if you didn't read this please do if you can because this blog page will then make some sense.

The last two weeks i have been feeling somewhat uptight, teary and it seemed my blog site was my only escape from reality, though everything i write is fair dinkom, was to get on my blog site and just type away. I know i have been sending my husband around the bend somewhat with my crankiness, so i have to admit it takes a lot of patience on his behalf to put up with me and my yelling at the kids out of sheer frustration. It doesnt help when he works 6-7 days a week in 36 degree C heat climbing 16 storys at the oil refinery he works at, coming home to screaming kids, mess everywhere and mummy just frazzled and teary eyed, with a glass of wine in her hand, ready to go to bed.

My husband at times has his bad points, like we all do, and its now i can admit that my behaviour does not help his sanity after a days work because i am so frustrated being at home 6-7 days a week in kiddies land with no adult stimulation. The telephone and my blogger has been my only outlet, thank god for that.

Well 5 days ago i started on my Prozac again, and feeling again somewhat normalised. While Prozac doesnt work for some, it sure works for me. My mother and father were getting worried and knew i was on a steep decline back to depression, i was even showing no interest talking on the telephone with anyone, which is normally a dead give away to my parents. My mother has been telling me for years that i may suffer from bi-polar or manic depression and because it is in familys genes and it isnt any wonder.

When sometimes i am reading my blogger, at what i have written, i have learnt that i can do such a great job covering up how i am really feeling. I try to always have a positive outlook in life and make light of a situation, yet something inside is eating at me and feel i cant spit it out.

I have decided i will be seeing a therapist to assess me and see what they think. When i write this, i have no shame because people need to be more aware of this problem. I red a article the other day and it was saying bi-polar can be predominant, meaning something can trigger the depression, which i know is the case for me, because after Jordans diagnosis i became lost in his world.

When Chloe was born, i then suffered post natal depression after learning about her diagnosis and for the first 2 years worried about her outcome along with the battles we had with Jordan and his education, along with his suspected molestation by his then bus driver. I believe all this played a big part with my ongoing depression and battling the bottle which i now can say honestly use wisely.

My family are such a great support unit and i am eternally grateful to them all, because they know as well as i do, i can be difficult at times, i will also share with you all (without looking for sympathy) that before Jason & i were married i was raped by someone i knew, this changed me a great deal as well. Jasons never ending support helped me make it through as well, i am so lucky when i think about it, that i did infact marry someone with compassion and never gave up on me. Most men probally would have run a mile.

Well today i am feeling a lot better, calmer and in control of all situations.
I find the Prozac does make me a little vague, but i would prefer this than the way i was feeling before. I want to thank everyone who has been there for me especially my family, friends and fellow bloggers who give me encouragement and support.

HERE IS SOME BLOG PAGES SO FAR FOR PEOPLE TO READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SO FAR RED ANY OF THEM


The following blog is written by Peggy Lou Morgan about her son Billy Ray.
Peggy Lou is an author and has been writting a very awe inspiring Blog.
Her dedication to Billy Ray and information provided helps you realise at times like myself, there are people out in this world who have too deal with a lot more, raising a child like Billy Ray. Peggy Lou has also given me a lot of support and encouragement with wisdom that is has proven to be very valuable. Her address is as follows:

http://parentingacomplexchild.blogspot.com

The next blog is written by Lora about her son Griffin Blaise.
Lora is a great friend i met some time ago on a support site and lives in Anchorage, Alaska. If it was not for Lora, i would not have known about this Blog site. Not only did Lora help me with setting my Blog up, she has always shown compassion and concern for us all. Reading her site will make you laugh and cry, and you cant help but fall in love with Griffin. Lora is a inspiration because not only has she had too raise Griffin alone, Lora has suffered through many tough times herself.
Her address is as follows:

http://griffinblaise.blogspot.com

This blog is written by KC's mom called matchbox kid. I have only recently met KC's mom, after many comments on my blog, offering me support and encouragement also. KC's mom has put together a very beautiful blog all about her son and the challenges she faces with KC's autism and behaviours. The address is as follows:

http://matchboxkid.blogspot.com

The following are some other addresses that i thought i should add. I have only been introduced to them after recieving comments on my blog pages and am yet to read them all.

http://autismedges.blogspot.com

http://mysonhasautism.blogspot.com

www.thismom.com

www.blogger.com/profile/8857386

www.blogger.com/profile/11339975

I am sorry if i have left others off, but i will add some more later.

JUST ANOTHER STORY TO SHARE

My goodness i must share with you all reading this page, what a huge difference diet has made to our children.

I made a pact to myself last week, i would cut a lot of things out of the kids diet. 5 days ago i started cutting down their suger intake because before xmas and with their last few days at school they had been eating so much junk. Cordial was replaced with water, 100% juice, milk and and if they had cordial it was just enough to colour it.

They have not been eating sugery muesli bars or biscuits, which as my mum explained that this was what i would put in their lunchbox and i have not being buying any of these since school finished, along with fresh fruit or 100% fruit snacks and sandwiches. Cordial drinks were less expensive so they would get this as something too drink.

The last few days i have seen such a awsome change in their overall behaviour, Jordan has started to calm down and sleeping better again, without the melatonin, Nicolas is not waking nearly as much, which when he did, he would cry and was a restless sleeper. Chloe has started sleeping through the night also in her own bed, without waking up and climbing into our bed.

Jordan doesnt make his errrr or rooster crowing (as we call it) noises nearly as much, so when he does its not grating on my nerves.
We have noticed his interaction with his brother and sister is 100% better, the other day for example Chloe was asleep, and i let Jordan & Nicolas outside for a swim, when i got in with them Jordan told me "to get out" at first i thought it was because i took up too much room for him to jump and play around..lol.. after i got out he then said to me "inside" and started pulling me inside. He then said "Chloe" want Chloe it dawned on me he wanted Chloe to swim with them also. After I told him she was asleep he started getting upset saying over and over Chloe.

So i took him too the couch, i will be back to finish with what i am typing as i am being screamed at to wipe Chloes bum and get myself another coffee and take my blood pressure tablets lol (thought i would share that with you all) anyway im back now so when we got to the couch Jordan proceeded to tap Chloe on the head and say "wake up Chloe" swim time. When she wouldnt wake up at first he started pulling her off the couch, yelling "swim time Chloe" over and over. After she woke up all the time hubby and i being highly amused at this i asked her if she wanted to go for a swim and being half asleep still said no. Jordan than started jumping up and down saying "yes, yes, yes! Chloe then got up and went to the door and Jordan was grabbing her shirt saying "take shirt off for you" trying to lift it over her head.

After Chloe got in, Jordan was clapping and laughing saying "Yeaaah" Nicolas then got upset explaining to us that Jordan has never asked him to go swimming before and felt unloved. I explained to Nicolas that all of you normally swim together and because this time Chloe was not swimming at the time, he wanted all 3 of you together. He then came out with but when i'm asleep he never asks me, i then explained to him that he has never been asleep when you go out too play in the pool. He then seemed to understand my explanation.

Jordan also has been wanting to play the sega game with Nicolas, and likes Nicolas to play this one game all the time, which we feel he is watching trying to work out how to play it also.

Nicolas is a very sensitive child, and we have to be very careful with what we say at times too him, he can take things literally and i mean literally, and because he has mild Aspergers, this obviously shows why he gets upset so easily. All in all he is a lovely caring kid, but at times when he gets angry he goes overboard which can also happen to the best of us.
We do walk on eggshells with him at times, because he has expressed at times he wants to kill himself and locks himself in our room and wont answer us when we go too check up on him which is sometimes every 5 minutes.

I have too put knives out of reach because i caught him oneday when his friend was over with a knife, putting it against his wrist. When i asked him why he was doing this he told me because his friend didnt want to be his friend anymore, it doesnt help either, the fact his friend suffers with ADHD also. I have organised for his Paedtrician to see him and have to wait a little while for his appointment, though for a while he has not said this to us anymore much to our relief, but we are still keeping a close eye on him.

Chloe has calmed down a lot also, they are all playing much more together without the normal fighting, Nicolas has this new game, which hubby & i cant help but laugh our heads off, when they eat mango's Nicolas gets it all over his face and hands and chases Jordan and Chloe around pretending to be the mango troll. They think this is a fantastic game so isnt it amazing how children have this wonderful sense of imagination and sense of humour?

I will be hopefully updating my blog soon with some more photos, because we do not own a digital camera as yet and my scanner isnt working, so i am waiting for poppy to email me some latest pictures to download.

I would like to thank everyone who has been reading my blog so far, sending words of encouragement and support. This blog is not only respite for me, but has proven to be very invaluable with all the information provided on their blog sites and most importantly have made some great friends who happen to be very inspiring individuals.

I am still yet to work out how to add blog links to my pages, so others reading mine will read theirs also. I am going to type the addresses to some great blog reads that i have red so far on another page, so till then take care all and hope you are having a wonderul holiday season.

10 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT JORDAN

Sometime ago i was tagged by Peggy Lou Morgan to write 10 random things about Jordan.

So here goes:

• Jordan knew his numbers 1-20 and could say them by 2.5. He also knew his entire alphabet by 3.5 years old.
• Jordan said mum and dad for the first time since he was 16 months old, directly to us 8 months ago.
• Jordans vocabulary has picked up in the last year that he is now answering our questions, and when given instruction verbally he understands and does what he has been told.
• Jordans favourite foods and meals are fruit, chocolate, tuna mornay, lasagna, tacos and pasta.
• Jordan hates the credits on the ending of movies. Absolutely terrifies him.
• Jordan has too turn the volume down everytime a show on tv ends.
• Jordan will scream in the supermarket, cry himself to exhaustion when he wants his iceblocks, oh yes he loooooves his tropical frosty fruits.
• Jordan loves our kitten Moccha. Moccha loves Jordan more than me and i feed him!
• Jordan never stops talking about his teachers from school, especially Mrs Cooksley who he seems to have an affinity with. (she is the one who shares her raisin toast with jordan at morning teatime)
• Jordan looooves going to Grandma & Poppys house to visit, he cant get out the car quick enough upon arrival.
• I could not help but add one more, he absolutely loooves to share a cup of tea with grandma, and insists some mornings i make him one.

WHAT A YEAR 2005 INTO 2006

Wow i have to tell you Jordan the last few days has been so verbal.
When he gets angry he knows what he is saying. The other night i told him to turn the stereo down and he said to me "lighten up mum", told his father "too piss off". He has this obsession with the channel Fox 8 on foxtel when the simpsons are on and by crikies if anyone changes the channel, he lets you know about it.

He has been answering the phone with "hello" then says "bye" and hangs up on the caller, i dont mind if its someone chasing money for a bill...lol.
Well he just spilt some drink all over the floor and is screaming
"oh my god, whats happened". So you can see why we are pretty happy with his progress when it comes to speech, though some of his verbal outbursts can be quite offensive to some peoples ears.

We had a wonderful news eve, with close family and the kids had a ball swimming, playing and listening to the adults belting out some kareoke classics. I lost my voice momentarily after but it was well worth it.
Poor hubby who worked that day fell asleep at 11pm, but i woke him up telling him his cousin was on the phone (he wasnt really) just to get him up.
Hubby has 3 days off again which the kids love and i am enjoying the respite so i can type on my blog again and catch up with everyone elses.

Jordan actually today is in a real shitty mood, probaly from the lack of enough sleep. Today its raining thank god after yesterday being a scorcher day of 43 degrees with the hotest winds ever. Too top it off our ducted aircon in the house decided to kark it, with the pool that didnt give us much relief either. My car aircon has run out of gas, the brakes need changing, what more could go wrong!
But on a sad note we found out last wednsday towards the end of the year on the 21st December, 5 days short of his 38th birthday, a great friend of ours who we hadnt actually seen for a few years, commited suicide.

He had been suffering for quite some time and just wish he would have found someone to talk too, if he had, he may be here still today. He was a happy, caring and life of the party sort of guy with everything going for him and never really showed any signs that he wanted to end everything. His sister who is one of my best friends along with family and friends are finding it hard to understand why he chose to take his life the way he did.

I write this because anyone out there reading this page and ever feels the way Alan did, to please seek help. Throughout life we often take things for granted and turn a blind eye, not really realising that this person you thought you knew so well would be feeling that way. I have friends that often talk about ending it all and i have learnt to always take their words seriously even if they say it too often. An ear to listen too is sometimes all they need, along with positive reassurance and let them know they are loved and if they did such a thing too think of all the people it would affect. Sometimes this may not be enough, but at the end of the day in your heart you know you did everything possible to prevent such a devastating act of self destruction and nothing you may have said or done would have prevented this from happening. I will say to Alan now, you can rest in peace and you will be sorely missed by everyone who's hearts you touched.